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Your Success Thought for the Week of March 4, 2009
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Fact: Everyone
wants to be 'heard.'
Fact: Most
leaders claim to be excellent 'listeners.'
Fact: It's
a rarity that a highly accomplished client comes to me enthusiastically stating
that he or she is 'heard and completely understood' by their ________ (fill in
the blank--board, CEO, boss, team, spouse, partner, kids.)
Our unwillingness or
inability to listen damages relationships, gives others an unpleasant view of
us and it robs us of valuable (often insightful) information.
What do we gain by listening
to what another person is sharing-verbally, emotionally and physically?
- Peace
of Mind: Positive feelings and actions are the
result of effective communication which begins and ends with mutually
respectful listening.
- Squelch
Ego: You may think you have the best solution; however,
someone on your team may just have a more creative, viable option.
Listening to them opens the door for others to contribute as well and
creates a more collaborative and productive atmosphere.
- Eradicate
Assumptions: You may not give a
board member credit for their input yet this time they are right on
target. Active listening with an open mind livens up the entire meeting.
- Strengthens
Focus: If your intention is to listen to
another then your overall focus increases.
It's like building a new muscle that gets stronger and stronger.
Here are some techniques to
experiment with this week to enhance your listening prowess:
- Paraphrase and use your own words to show you understand
the message. (Parroting back the
words verbatim is annoying.)
- Look for what the person really wants to communicate. What does he or she want for or from
you?
- Pause and be patient. Wait for a cue that the other
person has completed his message before jumping in with a question or
conclusion.
- Use
eye contact and body language
to communicate that you are listening-lean forward toward the person
speaking; look directly at them; nod; avoid glancing at your watch or
others in the room for their reaction.
- Don't
judge. People know when they are being judged
and know that you are no longer listening.
You don't have to agree with a person to listen to them.
- Ask
questions rather than assuming that
you know what they are saying.
(Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows how often we
are incorrect in assuming what our partner is communicating to us.)
What will open up to you
this week will if you simply take time to honor and listen to those most
important to you. Take the motto 'listen
and learn' everywhere you go and see what surprises come to you.
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Enjoy your discoveries and
have a grand week.
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Ann
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Ann, thanks so much for all of
your inspiration and leadership throughout the year. You are one special lady.
All the best to you and yours in 2009!
~ Jim Lee, Executive Director, Coril, Bend, OR
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P. S. We'd love to hear how you used our 'Success Thought of The Week' in your business or personal dealings.Please email your story to [email protected].
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Phone:
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Website:
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Copyright & Permission Copyright � 1998-2008 All rights reserved
Permission is granted to either reproduce copy or distribute "Your Success Thought for the Week" for March 4, 2009 as long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author is Ann Golden Egl�, GV&A, Golden Visions & Associates, Coaching for Success, 541.385.8887, PO Box 1696, Bend, Or. 97709. www.GVAsuccess.com
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