"The Significance of Eye Contact"
Your Success Thought for the Week of October 3, 2007
Many of my executive clients are challenged to remember the names of the multitude of individuals working for and around them. They buy books on name recognition and about creating new habits. For the most part, this works, at least for a while.
What is their goal? In the rush of their fast-paced days, these leaders simply want others to know how much they care, to make their employees feel valued and appreciated.
Can one can accomplish the same connection without the pressure to remember names, but instead with the pleasure of sincere eye contact?
In First Impressions, What You Don't Know About How Others See You, authors Ann Demarais, Ph.D. and Valerie White, Ph.D. write the following about eye contact:
Eye contact is a clear indication of interest, especially in American culture. We normally look others in the eye most of the time we are talking to them. The rest of the time we may be looking at their mouths, other parts of their faces, or briefly away. If you know your own eye-contact pattern, you are in a position to control the messages you want to send. If you want to show interest, you can hold your gaze longer, even just a fraction of a second longer than normal. Most people are very aware of being looked at and will feel this small difference-getting the message that you like them or find them appealing.
I know from my years of teaching networking workshops that the main reason one forgets names is that they are distracted by what they are going to say to this person, thus focusing on themselves rather than the individual with whom they are speaking.
I've also learned that only 7% of what you communicate is in the form of 'words.' The remaining 93% is in body language which includes eye contact. According to Demarais and White, it only takes four seconds to make a first impression. In those four seconds do you think genuine eye contact would speak louder than stumbling to remember a name?
This week release your inner pressure to remember names. Focus instead on a deeper form of connection--look deeply into the artwork of each individual's eyes. It only takes a few seconds. See what new understanding this brings to you and to the recipient of your effort.
Enjoy your discoveries and have a grand week.
P. S. We'd love to hear how you used our 'Success Thought of The Week' in your business or personal dealings.
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Permission is granted to either reproduce copy or distribute "Your Success Thought for the Week for October 3, 2007" as long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author is Ann Golden Eglé, Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC, 541.385.8887, PO Box 1696, Bend, Or. 97709. www.goldenvisionscoaching.com
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