"Delivering the Message"
Your Success Thought for the Week of March 29, 2006

Client Claire recently described her week as being ‘fast and furious.’ We soon discovered that this was the story of her life, not just one week.

Claire has a full plate and then some. She thinks, moves and talks fast. She prides herself in being a quick learner, an expert in her field. Silently, she berates those who cannot keep pace or who slow her down with questions or concerns.

What Claire is missing in her ‘fast and furious’ pace is her negative influence on those around her, those on whom she depends and who depend on her. One-by-one, she is alienating co-workers, associates and friends alike.

What is Claire’s challenge? She sees others not as individuals, but through the role they play in her life - what they can do for her. If she viewed them as individuals, she would notice how her communication affects them. She'd be more astute as to how her curtness jeopardizes the ensuing results they produce for her and how uncomfortable people have become around her.

Claire has lost sight of the importance of delivering a clear and effective message. Depending on our mood, vocal tone, and focus we can deliver the very same message with varying affects on others. For example, we can inspire them, soliciting enthusiasm and eagerness to cooperate. We can educate them, softly sharing our wisdom or unique perspective. We can leave them confused, uncertain, resentful, possibly in tears. How do you think Claire left her recipients?

There are many subtleties in the way people actually hear what we are saying. Each of us is more transparent than we think, meaning that what's in our heart and mind can often be seen and heard. The first step to more effectively communicating our message is to look in the eyes of your recipient. Who is this person? What are their concerns? What motivates them?

Does this individual move at a fast pace, meaning that we need to be succinct? Are they detail- oriented, needing backup material? Are they familiar with your data or do they need to be educated? Is their mind elsewhere presently, meaning that this is not an appropriate time? What is their incentive to cooperate or even listen to you?

Taking time to answer these questions will help you focus on the recipient, not merely yourself; time to notice subtleties that work best to get your message across effectively such as pace, vocal tone, amount of information and whether to put your message in the form of a question, a statement or even in writing.

Finally, looking at your recipient as an individual allows you to engage two of your most basic emotional needs in relationships—respect and appreciation. A touch of humor (not sarcasm) appropriately tossed in lightens every setting.

Once Claire treats her team as humans trying to do their best, foibles and all, her messages will be received in such a manner to elicit amazing cooperation, which will in turn take many things off her plate and result in a better, more productive environment all the way around.

This is a great week to learn more about how you look at those with whom you communicate? How do you deliver messages, big and small? How do you leave your recipients—eager to cooperate and become more creative in their work for you or resentful, even angry?

Enjoy your discoveries!


Ann Golden Eglé, MCC
Executive Coach & President
Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC

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