I heard stories of ovens on fire; tears and cruel words; physical injuries and many, many communication misinterpretations. Yet, there were also tales of creative, loving celebrations. Why do the holidays bring about such intense emotions?

I happen to be a big holiday buff. I love the merriment—the music, lights, decorations, celebrations, excuses to see those whom I’ve been too busy to see all year long. I love making delectable foods, dressing up, writing each card, and selecting each gift.

Clearly not everyone thinks as I do. In contemplating this imbalance of mind-sets toward the holidays, I’ve come to the following conclusion: Our holidays will be far less stressful and far more enjoyable if we will live by one uncomplicated truth:

Everyone wants to be respected. There are no exceptions.

If anything has gone amiss in your holiday season to date, think of how showing more respect could have shifted the energy and outcome. How do you show your respect? Here are some suggestions when communicating with associates and family alike:

1. Be patient: Realize that you are not the only one under the gun this time of year. Respect that everyone carries a heavier load. Demonstrate compassion and understanding for everyone from the person carrying out your groceries to president of your company regardless of how they treat you. If you simply react to them, you give away your power. This is not respectful to you.
2. Be curious: Place your focus on someone else other than yourself. When talking to your clients, respectfully ask how they are doing. You’ll be long remembered for your sincerity and caring. Don’t make them wearier with your tales of pressure. They have enough on their minds. Make your interaction lighter in nature, more about them than you.
3. Ask, don’t tell. This is vital to effective communication at any time of year, but especially when tensions are high. When we tell someone to do something we put them on the defense. We create a knowing parent/incapable child scenario. Who wants to be told to do something? When we ask politely and with respect for the other person, we create an atmosphere of honor and cooperation.

Finally, please consider who you may be taking for granted. We often act respectfully toward those whom we barely know, assuming that impressions have been solidified with those closer to us. Not so.

We are changing, evolving beings. Remind those all around you how important they are to you, that your goal is to create continually enhanced relationships. To do this, you are willing to communicate effectively, giving and receiving respect.

Make your challenge this year to have all your holiday interactions more effective. Incorporate the above techniques that spoke to you. If you can do this during the holiday season, the rest of the year will be a cinch!

Enjoy your discoveries and have a grand week!

Ann

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Permission is granted to either reproduce copy or distribute "Your Success Thought for the Week for December 7, 2005" so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author is Ann Golden Eglé, Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC, 541.385.8887, 1972 NE 3rd St, Suite # 307 Bend, Oregon 97701, www.GoldenVisionsSuccess.com