Your Success Thought on "Relationship Integrity"
September 28, 2005

We all have ‘hot spots’ of behavior or modes of thinking that are intolerable. Following is one of my clients. If this holds true for you, let’s make the world a better place.

Bruce just bought his second home. Each and every transaction provides its own set of unique challenges. Why? Each involves emotion and money.

Bruce’s realtor was a top-level professional who listened to him intently and kept him informed of every twist and turn. His loan officer was equally respectful. Bruce felt well taken care of until the last, possibly most important junction—the closing.

In Bruce’s own words, his escrow officer “appeared not the least bit interested in him. He felt like he was an imposition. Each question was answered with an impatient glance at her watch; each form was literally shoved under his pen to sign with a fast explanation he could barely follow. The atmosphere was tense.”

As hard as his Realtor and loan officer worked to make Bruce’s transaction a success, this final stage left him feeling dismal. Bruce recalled that his first transaction and refinance was similar. His question: “Why is this acceptable behavior?”

Because, what this escrow officer doesn’t realize is that this poor treatment of her purchaser speaks volumes of her low level of relationship integrity. How we treat others; our level of kindness and patience; our focus and willingness to listen and understand demonstrates more about who we are than who they are.

A person of high integrity is authentic and respectful with whomever they interact, from a waiter to a CEO. People don’t have to earn their acceptance, it comes naturally. They are confident, curious and non-judgmental. A person of integrity easily displays proper manners and good etiquette. Does this sound like the escrow officer above?

In Class Acts, author Mary Mitchell describes good manners, and I believe her definition is a solid measure of integrity: “Good manners come from the inside. They reflect principles of self-respect and respect for others. Good manners create good relationships; good relationships create good business, not the other way around.”

Bruce will be just fine once he is settled. Unless the escrow officer wakes up to the effect her behavior is having on others, she will continue to treat clients disrespectfully, damaging relationships that had been thoughtfully created by those before her.

While this example is the escrow industry, please know that the lack of ‘relationship integrity’ is rampant in every industry. It’s mind boggling that a lack of respect in dealing with others is considered acceptable on any level of interaction. Understand that it does not take that much more time or energy to show others you care and are unquestionably a person of integrity.

How can you be the change that changes others this week? What will your interactions say about your level of ‘relationship integrity?’

Have a great week and enjoy your discoveries.


Ann Golden Eglé, PCC, CPCC
Executive Coach & President
Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC

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Permission is granted to either reproduce copy or distribute "Your Success Thought for the Week of September 14, 2005" so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author is Ann Golden Eglé, Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC, 541.385.8887, 1972 NE 3rd St, Suite # 307 Bend, Oregon 97701, www.GVSuccess.com

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