Your Success Thought on "Accepting Compliments"
June 15, 2005

For my niece's graduation I bought a fun Susan Wilson Solovic book, The Girls' Guide to Power & Success. In glancing through this books wisdom it struck me that people twice or even three times her age still struggle with the same success blocking issues.

For example, one of my toughest jobs as an executive coach is convincing clients that their time is better invested in building upon their strengths than focusing on their faults. 'You learn from your mistakes', we have been brainwashed. Most of you are not learning--you are living your mistakes over and over again until they become bigger than life. They become your 'story'. Let go of that.

How one does this is the million dollar question.

  1. Train yourself to take in good feedback people provide along with the rest. We've been conditioned to take in the negative so we know what to improve upon. We negate how powerful the positive feedback is--compliments and acknowledgements.
  2. As with any form of feedback, trust your intuition and accept it judiciously.
  3. Acknowledge the sender, 'coming from you that means a lot'. People need to know their opinion matters.

According to Solovic, "The inability to accept a compliment is annoying, disrespectful and a form of self-deprecation. When someone compliments you and you deflect it, you are undermining yourself and telling the other person they don't know what they are talking about." How about this example?

    "What a lovely suit you have on this evening," a friend says.
    "This old thing-I've had it for years," you reply.
    "Well, that may be, but it looks great on you", your friend continues.
    "Oh I think it makes my hips look big," you say.

Why can't we just say 'thank you'? By deflecting the compliment in such a way, you have caused the other person to focus on the age of the suit and the size of your hips. Is this really what we want to communicate to them?

This message is equally important for you macho men. Everyone needs to know when they succeed, period.

Compliments and acknowledgements provide a solid foundation on which to build any form of success. Belittling ourselves, even minutely and focusing upon our mistakes cracks this foundation.

Another key is in knowing when to compliment 'you'. Know that not everyone is skilled in the art of providing compliments. Instead of waiting for that special someone to acknowledge you, look in the mirror and say "Way to go! I never had a doubt in my mind that you could accomplish this feat!"

Accepting compliments in a savvy way makes you stand out since so few of us can do this gracefully. Additionally perfecting this ability in an authentic manner elevates intimacy in relationships.

This week open yourself up to compliments instead of uncomfortably deflecting them. See what else opens up to you!

What you focus on becomes your reality. Compliments are not a bad reality to have. Enjoy your discoveries this week!

Ann Golden Eglé, PCC, CPCC
Executive Coach & President
Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC

Welcome All New Subscribers As always, it's great to be in touch with our subscribers in 'eight' countries!! Australia, Canada, France, Germany, New Zealand, Spain, United Kingdom, USA. If you receive these 'Thoughts' and live in a country that I have not mentioned, please let me know so I can salute you.

Know of Someone Who Would Benefit From These Weekly Thoughts? Delight a friend or colleague by suggesting they subscribe to our free "Your Success Thought of the Week"! All they need to do is email their request to anngoldenegle@aol.com and say "TOTW - Add Me!" in the subject line.

Copyright & Permission Copyright © 1998-2005 All rights reserved

Permission is granted to either reproduce copy or distribute "Your Success Thought for the Week of June 15, 2005" so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author is Ann Golden Eglé, Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC, 541.385.8887, 1972 NE 3rd St, Suite # 307 Bend, Oregon 97701, www.GVSuccess.com

Phone: 541.385.8887 or toll free 1.877.821.0234
Email Marketing by