Your Success Thought on "Accepting Compliments"
June 15, 2005
For my niece's graduation I bought a fun Susan Wilson Solovic book, The Girls' Guide to Power & Success. In glancing through this books wisdom it struck me that people twice or even three times her age still struggle with the same success blocking issues.For example, one of my toughest jobs as an executive coach is convincing clients that their time is better invested in building upon their strengths than focusing on their faults. 'You learn from your mistakes', we have been brainwashed. Most of you are not learning--you are living your mistakes over and over again until they become bigger than life. They become your 'story'. Let go of that.
How one does this is the million dollar question.
According to Solovic, "The inability to accept a compliment is annoying, disrespectful and a form of self-deprecation. When someone compliments you and you deflect it, you are undermining yourself and telling the other person they don't know what they are talking about." How about this example?
Why can't we just say 'thank you'? By deflecting the compliment in such a way, you have caused the other person to focus on the age of the suit and the size of your hips. Is this really what we want to communicate to them?
This message is equally important for you macho men. Everyone needs to know when they succeed, period.
Compliments and acknowledgements provide a solid foundation on which to build any form of success. Belittling ourselves, even minutely and focusing upon our mistakes cracks this foundation.
Another key is in knowing when to compliment 'you'. Know that not everyone is skilled in the art of providing compliments. Instead of waiting for that special someone to acknowledge you, look in the mirror and say "Way to go! I never had a doubt in my mind that you could accomplish this feat!"
Accepting compliments in a savvy way makes you stand out since so few of us can do this gracefully. Additionally perfecting this ability in an authentic manner elevates intimacy in relationships.
This week open yourself up to compliments instead of uncomfortably deflecting them. See what else opens up to you!
What you focus on becomes your reality. Compliments are not a bad reality to have. Enjoy your discoveries this week!
Ann Golden Eglé, PCC, CPCC
Executive Coach & President
Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC
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Permission is granted to either reproduce copy or distribute "Your Success Thought for the Week of June 15, 2005" so long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. The author is Ann Golden Eglé, Golden Visions Success Coaching, LLC, 541.385.8887, 1972 NE 3rd St, Suite # 307 Bend, Oregon 97701, www.GVSuccess.com
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