There were four main points that came to mind:

1. Finding Balance in Life

2. Learn to Set Boundaries

3. Resolve the Past

4. Set Goals

Finding Balance - There are many things in life that we have to balance; work, school, friends, family, church, recreation, social activities, etc.  Too much or too little of something creates imbalance.  A workaholic may benefit from climbing the ladder of success and achieve great financial gains, but at what cost? Will it cost you relationships, your family, or your children? It may even have health-related costs.  Too much pleasure and recreation can also have costs. Lack of taking responsibility may also cost you relationships, family, children, etc.  Someone once told my husband that at 60 years old, he wouldn't be looking back saying "Man, I wish I would've worked more hours."  Make sure your life is well-rounded.

Learn to Set Boundaries - Boundaries are flexible limits where you are in control of what comes in and goes out of your life. Anger, resentment, bitterness and self-hatred are probably warning signs for areas in your life where you need to set boundaries.  Some people find it difficult to set boundaries because they want to be liked.  Saying no may make the other person unhappy or "not like me."  Learning to say "no" to others in a healthy way is learning to say "yes" to yourself and take care of your own needs.

Resolve the Past - I have learned in my counseling practice that there is a great benefit to going back and finding a place of resolve for past issues.  Needs that didn't get met growing up are often the same needs that you are seeking to get met in present relationships.  Those unmet needs are often sources of contention in relationships.  We may not make the connection to how those unmet needs in the past are related to our behavior today. We do not have control over things that have happened in our past.  We only control how we let those issues affect our present choices and behavior.  An unresolved past often leads to poor present choices and behavior.

Set Goals - Having something to work toward is important. Not having goals, whether occupational, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc., is like shooting an arrow at a target in the dark with a blindfold on.  Not having goals leads to a lack of purpose and resulting depression, anxiety, worthlessness, hopelessness, etc.  So what if you set a goal and fail? Exactly, so what? At least you are moving and working toward something. At least you have a sense of purpose.  So if you fail, get up and try again.

If you are having difficulty in any of the areas above, there is a caring professional counselor waiting to guide you through your journey of healing toward wholeness.  It is never too late to take control of your life and make changes in the present that will positively impact your future.

You Need Not Walk Alone

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