I have a Life Coaching client who felt proud to share her story with everyone. She is a very courageous woman who has risked to reach her maximum potential.
I proudly present her story...
Life Coaching - My Brief But Yet Unfolding Story
March 29, 2011
There is no way to begin a story like mine. Before it could be written, the tale was plagiarized; corrupted by an imposter - a thief of the soul. By the time I was old enough to be aware of myself, I knew certain things to be absolutes. I was inherently flawed. I was unlike others; somehow defective, unacceptable the single ingredient to any scenario whether simple or complex which destroyed everything simply because I was one aspect of that scenario. These were facts...unchangeable facts. No questioning them. I only knew fear, dread, anxiety, of being lost, total aloneness, neglect, confusion and shame. Over all these feelings, I knew self-loathing.
These are the ingredients of decades of my life now past. Between these emotions were pieces, sometimes small and sometimes very large, of missing days, weeks and even years. Times that I somehow shoved away into secret corners, or just misplaced. I was afraid to tell anyone. I was ashamed.
In 1993, after a nervous breakdown I was hospitalized for 6 weeks. That stay was the beginning of God opening my eyes to my real life. There I was diagnosed with (then called) MPD, or D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
That was 18 years ago. But my story didn't end there. It only began. After rejecting my diagnosis, I went about more years of confusion, lost time and misery. Then early in 2010 I was sexually assaulted and ended up in an outpatient program for trauma victims. Coincidentally, this program was created by Dr. William Tollefson. At the time, I despised him. After all, he was a MAN. What business did he have treating traumatized females??
Little did I know he would have a life-changing impact on me in near future.
I remained in the outpatient treatment program from more than a year. There I became stable and much healthier; learning to work with my "troops" as a team, but it still was not enough. Despite the improvement, I was still struggling with fighting the abuser values, trying to stay present and actually enjoying my life on a daily basis. I never knew when the next trigger was lurking and whether or now I would be able to handle it. So I left the trauma group and did nothing for a while.
Then I heard that Dr. Bill had actually started a new program online called Life
Coaching. He was offering a free consultation so I scheduled an appointment.
A coincidence once again? Maybe, but I have come to believe a coincidence is merely a miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous!
After meeting with Dr. Bill I was confident that he could bring me to the next level. He assigned some homework, which I committed to completing before our next meeting one week later. That was the beginning of what has become in only 3 short weeks, the transformation of my life.
Already, I am free of the past. YES! Not kinda-sorta...but truly free. I am experiencing all the things I have always wanted to and I know there is only more to come.
Dr. Bill has opened my eyes to what is mine and mine only. He has given me the keys to unlock the life I want. Since I took hold of this and, make no mistake, the choice was mine. I have lived every day in the present. I have been free of anxiety, fear, paranoia and the need to hide from the world.
Instead the world has become mine. For the first time in my life, I am experiencing authenticity in mind, soul and spirit. The past? Oh, it all is there...way back there where it belongs. I can see it, but I have left it behind and it cannot reach me or hurt me ever again. I am free to do, be, create, participate, join or whatever possible opportunities are out there that I wish to pursue. The world has become my all-you-can-eat buffet.
How can this be possible? Because I know God didn't make me to leave me lost for the rest of my life. The only thing it took was for me to step out in faith. It took courage, yes, but that is something all survivors possess. I trusted Dr. Bill and ventured out into the deep uncharted waters of my life. I left the familiar shores of my pain and past. I watched with marvel as I set sail toward my own yet-to-be discovered world of ME. The past vaporized from my soul. All that I can see now is the beautiful world that it mine getting more and more beautiful with each passing day. The expansive sea between my world and where I once was has left a small speck on the horizon of that dark island.
And I won't ever venture back. There is no need. So I look ahead.
And I am not journeying alone. My troops are with me. Not exclusively, but totally. We are all here together now. What a glorious reward for a life paid for in pain. New life has started and it is made to order just my size!
No, there is no hypnosis. There is no power of suggestion. There is only invitation and receipt. The gift of true freedom was presented to me. I had to pick it up - that's all. Pick it up, trust it and move forward. The rest is unfolding like a daily ray of warming sunshine. I am enriched, fulfilled, and blessed.
Last night Dr. Bill read my list of goals that I wrote to him only a month ago.
As of last night, every one has been fulfilled. And these were the loftiest of goals, make no mistake. Wholeness, fully present all the time with all parts of me, freedom from fear. And there are many more. To think over a month ago, I knew my day-to-day life was tenuous as best. I had found a sense of peace and security AS LONG AS I STAYED HOME. That is what I settled for.
And now, in such a short time, all of that is no more. I have peace. I have security. I have my troops. I have ME! Life is good and it is now!
I cannot wait to see what the coming months will bring and Dr. Bill helps me reach beyond the shore of my new home. This new land I have found is boundless. There is so much to discover and I have all the time in the world.
This is a miracle of freedom that is there for any and all of us who are trapped by the Alcatraz of our past. Reach out and take it.
