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Welcome to the Tollefson Enterprises Newsletter |
 Why Am I Stuck? Why am I stuck? Why can't I get any further in my life? What is holding me back? These questions may be easier to answer than you think. It appears that our thinking holds us back more than anyone knows. Through our lives we are bombarded with thousands of overt or covert statements made to us about ourselves. These statements are recorded and sometimes get unconsciously fixed in habitual thought patterns. Two ideas that come to my mind about this subject; 1. "Humans are what they think" and 2. "Once something is pointed out to someone it cannot be ignored or forgotten".First we should look at thinking from a global view. "Humans are what they think". I have found this statement to be one of the truisms in life. I have learned very clearly that it is how we think about ourselves that shapes our ability to function and perform in life. Simply, how we think, behave and feel originates from the life experiences stored in our memory. The information stored in our memory is the programming our brain runs on. This stored programming, in conjunction with perception, determines what we think of ourselves. Therefore our mental programming limits us to what we can envision. For example, if I think that I cannot do something, then my brain will make sure it does not happen. I have seen this over and over in myself as well as in other people. If someone thinks they are not "smart enough" or "cannot" make it through a school test or college course then they won't. I have seen this happen with athletes in sports also. When an athlete thinks they are less skilled than an opponent, then they perform less proficient. If they think that they cannot perform a new trick, task, skill, then guess what, they can't. In my specific field of work, if a survivor of abuse or trauma thinks that they are a "victim" then they continue to conduct themselves as a victim. Therefore, we are only limited by the programming in our brains. Therefore if it is the programming we accumulate over the years that holds us back then it seems obvious that if we change our programming, then our thinking would change and our ability to function, perform or succeed in life would improve. Whatever we think, perceive, imagine or believe about ourselves, for the most part become true.
Examining the second idea presented at the beginning is "once something is pointed out to someone it cannot be ignored or forgotten". I have found that ignorance is bliss. What I do not know, I do not think about. If something is not known then it does not cause mental conflict. But once something is pointed out though, mentally it is hard to not think about it after that. An example is if someone is told he/she has a character flaw and the statement triggers an emotion as well as a mental reaction, then that the idea or label sticks in their mind, and is accepted into long-term memory.
Can thinking or programming be changed? The answer is "yes", there is a way to change the programming in our brain. I have worked very hard over many years to develop a common sense and safe method of empowering individuals to change their own programming or the way one thinks.
If you would like to like more information or learn the more about positive programming, then contact me at my gmail account.
Dr. Bill
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 Changing Old Thinking
Making permanent changes in your thinking is not easy. Those old patterns are engrained in you after years of practice. But after analyzing decades of clinical research and case studies, I have discovered there are simple things you can do to snap the cycle of old thinking.
Make a crystal-clear statement of what to change. Design a list of new, specific statements you want to integrate into your thinking. Vague statements are doomed, because there are endless ways to interpret vague statements. When your brain is given too many options it will get confused, become paralyzed, and not accept the new way of thinking and ultimately return to the old familiar pattern. Instead you need to create a specific list of new statements you want in your brain. Then help them become embedded by repeating your new list at least 5 times a day for six months. The key is practice, practice, and more practice. That is how the old negative thinking got in there originally. Athletes win gold and become Olympic level by practicing what they do over and over until they can perform without thinking.
Make a firm commitment. The hardest part of pulling off change is getting started, keeping you motivated and following through consistently. To conquer your resistance, make a firm promise to change and to self. Set a daily schedule with specific times as to when you will practice your list. Only focus on practice each day. Repeat the next day. Do not think about how many months you will have to practice. It is easier to conquer daily mile markers, than anticipate the whole journey. The more you follow through with your commitment to self and carry out your schedule each day the less reluctant you become.
Make your environment support your change. Many of us are blind to the reminders of our old ways of thinking around us. Unconsciously reminders shape our behavior and trigger us to think in a predictable pattern. Reacting to old patterns can cause us to self-sabotage. Make sure that you take out reminders of the past and replace them with supporting associations of a new beginning.
You're probably full of many ideas for change to make in your thinking. Just remember: Change isn't an event: it is a process. Think about a new born colt just born and attempting to walk. There's no single episode when he learns how to stand up and walk. Many times the colt staggers, struggles and falls flat over and over until finally one day the colt can stand and take its first steps. Be like that colt wanting to walk: be consistent, never, ever give up. Everything in life is a challenge and changeable, including our thinking.
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Survivors: Healing is Possible
Watch on DVD and experience Dr Bill's unique style of educating and coaching, as he teaches and demonstrates his healing life skill Rapid reduction Technique (RRT) that teaches how to stop troubling flashbacks.. Learn how RRT can effectively reduce the emotional intensity of an intrusive visual traumatic/flashback or body memory, safely and protectively, without re-traumatization. RRT is a life skill that assists a survivor to reclaim what was lost in a traumatic or abusive event. Find your way out of the darkness, and back into the light.
DVD includes
1. Introduction
2. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
3. Connecting with a Trauma or Abuse Memory
4. Targeting
5. Facing the Abuser
6. Rescuing the Self Figure
7. Rapid Reduction Technique Script
8. Checking for Effectiveness
9. Audience Participation of RRT conducted by Dr. Bill
10. Audience Participation of RRT conducted by Dr. Bill
11. Demonstration with Volunteer 1 - Trauma Memory
12. Demonstration with Volunteer 2 - Trauma Memory
13. Demonstration with Volunteer 3 - Death Memory
14. Demonstration with Volunteer 4 - Body Memory
Bonus Chapters
A. Guide RRT with Male Voice
B. Guide RRT with Female Voice
C. Survivor's Credo
Title: Separated From the Light:
A Way Back - DVD
DVD Running Time: 1 hour 7 minutes
Price: $ 79.00 plus Shipping and Handling
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Thank you for your continued support.
Sincerely,
Bill Tollefson
Tollefson Enterprises |
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Radio Show
Thanks to all who listened in on Dr. Lisa Palmer's Radio Show last week. If you missed the show you can catch it on..
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Visit me on the web
at Dr. Bill's site |
| | Messages of Hope | Dr Bill, I had the opportunity to use the RRT again last night. I am so glad I learned this life skill from you for the flashbacks I get in the course of my recovery.
I wanted to say, it still works as it did the first time and I did it myself. RRT is life saving.
Thank you.
HT |
| | Messages of Hope | Hey Dr Bill,
It's almost been a year since I came to WIIT, and what a year it has been.
This is the most healing I've ever had and its been wonderful. I would
have never gotten this far without incorporation. I am actually living
and not just surviving. Thank you. I am so glad Pat took a chance when
she thought I wasn't ready.
KS |
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If you wish to contribute to the Messages of Hope section please send your message to Messages of Hope |
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