| Forget Perfect Monday Minute |
Control Freaks: Unsung Heroes of Home and Work
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"Did you ever notice that the people always
complaining about control freaks are usually the ones sitting on the sidelines?
It's easy for them to get annoyed at the order barkers, because they're not the
ones who have to be in charge."
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He or she is such a control freak! It's a common criticism, and it's
usually directed at the crazy person running around barking orders. You know,
the one who's about to bite your head off because you didn't do things exactly
the way they wanted you to.
Nobody likes a micromanager, but did you ever notice that the people always
complaining about control freaks are usually the ones sitting on the sidelines?
It's easy for them to get annoyed at the order barkers, because they're not the
ones who have to be in charge.
But perhaps the control freaks aren't really the problem. Maybe the real
problem is all those slackers out there who don't like being told what to do,
and who don't like being called on the carpet for their shoddy work.
A recent episode of the sitcom "Gary Unmarried" revealed what I
believe to be the true cause of control freak behavior. The show is about a
recently single dad, Gary, who works as a painting contractor, and his
"controlling" ex-wife Allison, as they co-parent post-divorce. One of
the recurring themes is Gary's slackness and Allison's uptightness. He's the
fun parent and she's the strict one. It's the typical bungling blustering dad,
smart snippy mom sitcom stereotype.
But last week's episode was different. Gary's rowdy half-brother came to visit
on the weekend that the normally TV-watching, pizza-out-of-the-box, no schedule
Gary was charged with making sure his son finished a book report on Herbert
Hoover. As Mr. Good Time Uncle kept the kid up late playing violent video
games, took him on a road trip and otherwise ignored the pending deadline, Gary
found himself acting more and more like his "controlling" ex-wife.
Ruining the fun of the all-night video marathon so his son could get some
sleep, taking away the ice cream so that he didn't get hopped up on sugar,
squashing plans to see a fun show and generally becoming an angry screaming wet
blanket, Gary finds himself shouting, "Am I the only one who cares about
getting this project done?"
To which the answer is, of course you are. We don't have to worry about
deadlines or work, because we have you to do that. We can be as irresponsible
as we want, because we know that you'll haul us back in line before things go
too far wrong. Of course we'll resent you for doing it, but that's what makes
it even more fun.
Needless to say, Gary came away from the episode with empathy for his ex-wife,
and I came away with renewed faith in sitcom writers.
Here's the deal, for every person whining about someone else being controlling,
there's an over-burdened, over-worked, well-intended person wondering why they
always have to play the heavy.
People tend to feel sorry for the "victim" of a control freak; but
take it from someone who knows, being a control freak is no picnic either.
You're responsible for absolutely everything, and no one seems to care about
maintaining high standards except you.
So if there's a control freak in your life, I encourage you to pause, and say
thank you. And if you found this article perched on the back of the toilet seat
or taped to your desk, chances are that special someone deserves some heartfelt
gratitude.
Because when they're in charge, you don't have to be. And that makes things
awfully convenient for you, doesn't it? |
