We all remember where we were when we first heard really bad news: when the Twin Towers fell, when the Challenger Space Shuttle exploded, and for those of us who are old enough, when President Kennedy was shot in Dallas.  April 8, 2011, will forever be that kind of day for me.  That was the day I found out I had breast cancer.  Needless to say, it knocked the breath out of me.

I have been writing this newsletter about courage for three years.  I have been speaking about courage for five years.  And my first book about a courageous person was published in 2001.  Guess you'd say I've put out a lot of words on the subject.  Now it's time for me to look back at it all and begin walking the walk that I've talked so long.

Getting news like this produces myriad emotions.  I'm angry that this is happening to me at a time in my life when I've never been happier.  I'm sad that my husband of almost one year will have to be not only the love of my life, but also my patient advocate, my caregiver, my support and the shoulder I'll cry on most often.  And I'm frightened.  Oh boy, am I frightened.

Anger, saddness, fear, added to stress and obstacles - these are the times we most need our courage.  Consequently, that's the well I'm going to: my courage well.  All the little tidbits I've shared with readers and audiences now come flooding back to me, including the one that seems most applicable now: "You can even eat an elephant one bite at a time." 

So many questions are flooding my mind.  What will my treatment  consist of?  What my life will look like from here forward?  Will I lose my hair?  (My aunt told my mother when I was a newborn that it was a good thing I was a girl and never be bald since my head was so deformed.)  Will it hurt?  Will my husband and family be okay?  Will people treat me differently?  And of course, the biggest of all, will I die?

Even at this early stage, it can all get pretty overwhelming.  Each time the knot in my stomach becomes bigger than the one in my breast,I take a breath and step back and remember the elephant.  One step at a time, one day at a time, one bite at a time.

There are some cancer patients who don't want anyone to know. Obviously, I'm not one of them. For those who are interested, I'll post my progress on my blog and Facebook page.  I'll happily take suggestions about helpful websites or chat forums.  I don't want your pity, but I will cherish all the prayers and love you can send my way.  Those will be my greatest courage builders of all!