Not long after I wrote my last newsletter, I had a most interesting experience during a weekly visit with a very young woman I see each week in the North Carolina Correctional Institute for Women (on November 15^th at the age of 19, she was sentenced for 2^nd degree murder). 

During our visit, I was surprised by the vision of seeing over her left shoulder that "bigger part of her."  Wow!  It was so unexpected in a clergy visit during regular visit hours...Here's this amazingly beautiful Being with a crown so large that it looked like Glenda's crown from the Good Witch of the North in the "Wizard of Oz."  She was absolutely incredible to behold!  The crown was more radiant than any silver or platinum you can ever image and just covered in the most amazing diamonds.  Her hair is light brown with wisps of golden strands that were spun throughout her gorgeous mane, sparkling like golden threads. Where her hair is neatly arranged in an elegant stacked bun-like style, there are also light pink sweetheart roses in a gentle bloom all around her hair that peek between her hair and the crown.

 I was so taken back because of her grandeur, beauty, love, compassion, depth, knowingness, power...all things in love and God...it was, quite frankly, so very different than the little Being in front of me that is dark-haired, confused, tiny, and child-like that I had to compose myself because not just of what I saw, but the realization that come with it: that "bigger part of her" put her right there in this very dark circumstance.  In this moment in her life, when all things look so unbearable and the worst thing to happen to anyone, I saw and felt the power of what it took for that "bigger part of her" to put her right there as planned.  It was one of the most life-changing events I've ever been gifted. 

 I'm trying to explain all of this to her as it's unfolding, and I hear myself say that now I understand on a whole new level why I chose to never, ever again have sympathy for anyone.  I hold only compassion. This is the space of true forgiveness, as it where unconditional love resides.  There is so much more to her case, as there is with most cases such as hers, and it's not my intention to go into who did what to whom right now, but rather that we wake up and make the choice to see a higher perspective...that there is a bigger picture, which will truly set us free in our own personal lives.  This is how we bring about change in the world. This year I've written before that we are not meant to be perfect, and we are meant to be perfectly human so that the light of our soul can shine through.  We work on finding our authentic self and change the world from the inside out.  The theory of "everything is perfect "and "we are perfect just as we are" hit my heart in a way I have never known.  This particular prison visit with "Glenda" is one of the most moving experiences of my life...truly.

 This Earth plane's density of fear, victim consciousness, poverty consciousness, conditional love, lust consciousness, greed, and hell-like conditions does not exist where we come from, and as our higher selves, we do know endless, powerful love.  Remembering this truth is the journey and the plan for humanity for those who choose to accept it. We are at a time of spiritual awakening because it is the end of this 26,000 year cycle here on Earth. Where we actually reside is such unconditional love and unity consciousness that is just so amazing, it actually took my breath away, as I was gasping for breath trying to take all of this in and still be present in the Visitation Room. It was the culmination of all my bodies accepting this energy all at once, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Whew!

This experience gave me a flash back to something I hadn't thought of in a very long time; it reminded me of trying to help someone about 5 or 6 years ago in a hospital with a daughter in the Intensive Care Unit in a coma.  I was in the waiting room as my husband was in surgery, and this father was talking to me about his story surrounding his college-aged daughter in a coma for the last several weeks.  

What happened was she dove into a swimming pool at the college and was alone. She dove in where it was too shallow, causing her head to hit the pool floor and was knocked out; she was found sometime later and resuscitated. People were visiting in droves, leaving pictures and prayers in the waiting room for the family and the young lady, and I thought, well, I'm waking up with these amazing abilities, and I want to be in service.  Maybe I should try to help this family communicate with their daughter because I would really appreciate that, being a mom, too, and maybe this is what I'm supposed to do.

The father had to leave the hospital, which left me alone in the waiting room.  I closed my eyes and reached out to the girl in the coma, asking if there's anything I can do or to give her family a message and what happened next shocked me!  She got very angry with me!!  She told me to mind my own business, ranted, and stomped off. I felt terrible!!  I felt like I looked into someone's financial records...that I had gone where it was none of my business!  Wow, it was absolutely not my intention!  Couldn't she see that I was helping and meant only good! Why couldn't she see that in my heart? 

Well, she was trying to figure out if she wanted to return to her body or not, and the entire experience was part of everyone's journey and karma, so it was none of my business. OK, I got it, so I thought, but there was much more, and visiting "Glenda" in prison helped me "get it" on a whole new level.  

Regardless of what you see and hear that happens around you, it is an illusion for many reasons, and if you think God has left us, well, that is what we came here to remember, which is to reach out to Mother/Father God in trust and from love.  Our heads think we're separate from God, but our soul knows we are not.  We came here to this Earth with so much thought and planning about what our life challenges would be and with those we'd interact with, and we did so willingly to experience the illusion of lack and conditional love, etc., because we want to experience it: these experiences actually deepen our awareness of self and of God, which is love.  This is where the expression comes in that "God never gives you more than you can handle."  So:

Standing in sympathy means that I understand your emotions and situation and see you as the victim, too.  There is no faith or trust in that moment. 

Standing in compassion means that I understand your emotions and situation and feel with you, and I see you as the victor, as all there is is God...it is all about faith and trust! I am here for you to stand beside you as you find your own inner light. You've understood the dark side of something, a situation, a part of yourself, whatever your challenge is, and I will model my own life to its fullest with self love and self worth, but it means you must be selfish to do so as well...spell selfish as:

Self-Fish!

You are no good when you estrange yourself from the light and love that Mother/Father God intended for you to have in your life to be able to share and express!
 

Take the gems of wisdom from the past and don't look back.

Try new things as we are supported to be our full selves.

The "Reality" of Abundance Experience

As I've mentioned before, where we actually reside, that "bigger part of Us", is abundance and unconditional love only. I actually "saw" this while waking up one morning, which was about two weeks before my "Glenda encounter," and it took my breath away.  It looks like this:  Remember in cartoons when the cartoon artist wants something to look invisible; we know it's invisible because it's a drawing of outline marks only?  It's just the outside drawing with no color?  Well, I didn't draw it on the above picture, but imagine where the expansive Universe is all black in this photo that it is completely covered in Unity Consciousness symbols everywhere.  They look like big bold crosses similar to a giant plus sign or the symbol of a First Aid station or the Red Cross--there is one on my gown above in my soul portrait. And the really cool thing is that I was leaving the planet Jupiter with the Moon, Europa, in the background.  For those of you who study medieval astrology, you know that each of the seven planets have archetypes, and Jupiter, as a benefic planet, expands your dreams, hopes, wishes, etc.  It was simply marvelous to behold such a sight and with it were abundant and loving feelings that were so overwhelming and all encompassing, that it caused me to gasp for breath much like a fish is out of water when can't use its gills!

I was so used to be a human being whose *four bodies only know separation, that I couldn't "process" that abundant love permeating everywhere and in everything, as is Mother/Father God. Whew, again, it's one thing to intellectualize a concept or theory, but to actually experience it without physically dying...wow!  What a fun journey this becoming a multi-dimensional human being is!  Bring it on!

*The four bodies being physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. It's never been more important to balance these four bodies and to return to nature than it is now!  (See clover info below.)