ORGANIZING THE TRANSITIONS....
Dear Friends and Family, Old and New, Near and Far:
Though I have technically been a nomad since selling my house in Pittsburgh last October, I have not been homeless. I've either been ensconced at the family home of my parents, or inhabiting the elegant abode of my brother Tom and his wife, Nora.
As with many people in our "middle years," we've undergone many transitions since Fall. After much research and planning, we moved Mom into a lovely apartment in an assisted living complex in early March. Now approaching her 95th birthday, she seems to be settling in, has made new friends, and still gets a kick out of watching the flowers and finches on her patio. She's also reading at least one book a week, and recommends Stones Into Schools, by Greg Mortenson, now famous for Three Cups of Tea, about building schools in Pakistan.
Of course, following that, I had to empty out another house, hers. More sorting, packing, moving, donating, hauling and discarding. We then went through the semi-frustrating experience of auctioning off the remainder of the contents.
Here's what I've learned: Give family members heirlooms they might want as early as possible. Make sure they know what's in those long unopened cabinets! Otherwise, they'll see it on the auction block and have to buy it back.
Two: Why cling to something you haven't used or touched for months or years? Bite the bullet and pass it on. It's
probably not worth storing or moving, depending on where you're going next. Or even if you're not going...don't leave it for someone else to deal with.
Three: Forget what you paid for it. Don't doom yourself to disappointment. Unless it's a rare antique or collectible, you will not get what you shelled out for it 10 or even 50 years ago.
Four: A house or studio sale, like I had in Pittsburgh, is LOTS of work. It might yield more than an auction, though I doubt it's worth the effort. I didn't try an eBay service, though if they take 30-40%, it's about the same as an auction.
Five: Auctioneers take about 45% of the gross, no matter what they say. Those extra charges add up.
Six: Ignore the auction process. You don't want to know what the pool table, that souvenir from Israel or your Dad's desk sold for. Tell yourself you gave someone the thrill of finding a bargain.
Seven: Even after the sale, you're still not done. There's still an amazing amount of stuff left in the laundry cupboard, the workshop, or in the attic that you have to clear out and decide what to do with. Start now!
We put the house officially on the market in late April, once again, For Sale by Owner, and I've been showing it
since then. On Friday we signed a formal offer with the new buyers, so this stage of our lives is almost over.
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| The redbuds and daffodils were stunning this spring, part of the seasonal pageantry I was blessed to watch at this place so dear to
our hearts. We hope the new owners love it as much as we did.
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LEAVING THE COCOON
It's been cozy, here in the cocoon of friends and family, in territory that I once knew, now slightly unfamiliar due to housing divisions where once were cornfields. One of the riches of being back home for more than a whirlwind visit, has been reconnecting over lunch or coffee with my old high school friends, and former neighbors. Laughing over photos of the circus we put on as kids, or sharing stories about our families, added the thread of joy to the tapestry of my life this past winter.
And, when I could sneak away, I went tango dancing at Riolo, the dance studio owned by Marie Riolo Roach, who has trained extensively with Oscar Casas, and other tango luminaries in Buenas Aires. So, besides old friends, I've also made new ones who share the love, OK, addiction, to tango. If you like to dance and are passing through Indy, check out Riolo's schedule for tango, swing, or ballroom.
And so, somewhere around the 4th of July, (or maybe shortly thereafter, due to my mother's birthday), I'll be re-asserting my independence, emerging from the cocoon, and sailing off into the unknown, with a few stops at my favorite haunts along the way. I'll continue to send messages from the road, or observations from the air, whichever it is.
As always, take care of your special selves, live creatively, cherish those near and dear, and make your dreams a reality.
Elena Hiatt Houlihan
Moving Images
PS: Please note change in email address below. The comcast email is no longer valid.
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MUSE BRIEFS:
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So, my far away friends are still occasionally asking, "And where are you now?" while my friends here in Indianapolis, inquire, "Where are you going?" Good questions, since I am no longer rooted to one place. My original thought was to accept a house sit in Mexico, though I wasn't quite finished with my work here. Now that my departure is approaching, I can announce that I'm heading East. First to visit my friends in Pittsburgh, and then off to Maine for a "creative retreat." To renew myself by staring at the ocean, and yes, finally, to do some serious writing.
After that, hmmmmm, probably a swing out to California and down into Mexico. But, if a cheap flight to Vietnam or Paris appears, don't be surprised if I write from there. My newest adventure is just beginning!
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NOTE: You may be a close friend or relative, someone who's genuinely interested in the continuing saga of my book, a teacher or student I've worked with, an editor I'm trying to impress, a perfect stranger I met briefly on the night bus to Palenque, or had an intense conversation with on the beach at Playa del Carmen, even a temporary tango partner. Perhaps you've forgotten me, but I have not forgotten you! Since I'm NOT making any promises to make you RICH, BRILLIANT or FAMOUS in 5 easy steps (not yet anyway), if my stories and observations don't enliven your day, then hit UNSUBSCRIBE. If you've been forwarded this newsletter, please click below to subscribe. Merci mille fois! Y muchas gracias!
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RECOMMENDATIONS:
As always, I'd like to make a few artistic and literary recommenda- tions. Currently I'm inspired by the work of Liu Bolin , a Chinese artist who protests
| governmental anti-art policies by painting himself so he fits invisibly into the background. His work is an amazing real life expression of trompe l'oil (French for "fool the eye")
Click on the image to see more of his work.
To escape from thoughts of moving and packing, I finally read Shantaram, an adventure novel set in India by Gregory David Roberts. Surviving despite beatings and desperate conditions, the author wrote much of the book while imprisoned himself. It is a testament to imagination, courage, and above all, perseverance. Find it on Amazon.
And finally, on the topic of self-growth, I highly recommend The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, which helps identify and dissolve one's subconscious Upper Limits. Gay and his wife, Kathlyn, are relationship experts, also writing and giving workshops on Conscious Loving. Their site
has many free videos with tips on reducing criticism, avoiding arguments, and expressing affection. MMMmmm, I'm all for expressing more affection!
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