Monday Motivation

Have you noticed that some people seem to grab and hold the attention of a group when they speak? What is it about them that makes people want to hear what they are saying? Have you ever conversed with a group only to have them ignore what you are saying or interrupt when you are making your point? Why is it that some of us can naturally command a room while others seem to blend into the background? Another great question that is the focus of this week's newsletter.

Great commanding!

Diane

P.S.  Please share your thoughts about this email or send future topic ideas to diane@dianeamundson.com  

Some of you may be asking why it is important to command a room? It is only important if you want to influence others with your ideas...in other words, show leadership.  My definition of leadership is doing good things through people. I know that not everyone wants to lead others, and there are times when you should follow versus lead. But for those that want to develop their leadership skills, you must learn to persuade others to your point of view. The skill of persuasion requires you to be heard.   So, how can you converse with a group of people and be heard? By having a presence in a room that makes people want to listen to you.

Let me be clear in that I am not asking you to dominate a room's conversation. We have all been a part of a meeting when someone will not let other's talk or they think they have the most important ideas to share. I am talking about knowing when to speak and how to speak to command attention so that your ideas are heard and acted upon.

Below are three strategies that I have observed over the years as a professional speaker that have helped me to influence others by commanding a room.

• Become an exceptional active listener. This may seem counterintuitive to commanding a room but when others feel you are an effective listener, they will return the favor by listening intently to what you have to say.  An active listener is someone who asks clarifying questions of the speaker and wants to know more about what is being said versus just wanting to have their opinion voiced.

• Condense your thoughts into as few words as possible. We live in a world of sound bites. If you tell long-winded stories or you give a lot of detail in your communication, your audience will lose interest.  You need to capture your thoughts and put them into the fewest words as possible. The best way to do this is to use paper and pen and write your thoughts down in a meeting and continue to take words away that have little or no relevance. In this case, less is more. Also if you have multiple thoughts, organize them into A, B or C or 1, 2, 3. An example would be:

"As I listen to what is being said, (this shows you care about what others are saying and have come to a thoughtful conclusion) I believe we should first do ___ then ___ and finally ____ because ____will impact ______."

• Have conviction or confidence in your voice. Note that I did not say arrogance.   Conviction requires that you practice saying short phrases in a mirror with a lower voice.   Many women struggle with capturing attention because of their high pitched voices.   By speaking in a lower octave range with shorter phrases, you will grab the attention of your group.

It is not easy to command the attention of a group but by listening for understanding first, condensing your responses using  a confident voice, you will be on your way to commanding the attention of those that you want to influence in a room.