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Stop Being So Literal!
Recently, I was staying at a resort where I met another guest by the pool. The vacation package I purchased was an all-inclusive which allowed me to eat at any restaurant on the resort at any time of day. I mentioned to this my new pool friend that I had eaten all of my meals so far at the resort and I was getting a little tired of the same buffet food. The next day I ran into this same guest and he asked where I had dined last night and I told him that I ate at a different resort's restaurant. Immediately he said to my, "But you said you were eating all of your meals at this resort!"
I am always taken back by people who remember the exactness of my words only to correct me later when my new words do not match my previous words. I often wonder why the "exact" matching is important to some people. Maybe these "exact" folks were once tricked by a relative or friend and so they are now on the watch for any inconsistencies in what is being said to them? Whatever the reason, the rest of us find this irritating, annoying and down right humiliating. At least half the world speaks in "approximates" or "senses" an answer. Now, if someone were operating on your brain or heart, I think we would all agree that we want them to be "exact". We do not want them approximating or sensing what synapse to cut.
However, when communicating with the rest of the world, this need to be exact and correct, can backfire. If you find that you are the one correcting others for slight differences in their statements, try the following:
- Pause before you tell them how inconsistent they are and go with the flow. In other words, do not correct them! They will not be better off because you saved them from making an incorrect statement.
If you find yourself living or working with a literal person, try these tips for keeping your sanity:
- Ignore their corrections. While this may sound like a simple solution, after days, months and years of being corrected, this may not even be feasible.
- Remind them that they should not take you literally. Let them know that you may, and often will change your mind and that you sometimes are prone to exaggeration. Not that you are lying, but that you are making a statement for effect. In the example I gave above, my exclaiming that I always ate at the resort made more of an impact than saying that I ate thirteen meals at the resort.
Being literal has its place in banking, financial planning and medicine but for the rest of the world, it can create hard feelings and strained relationships.....literally. |
