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Who is the boss?
"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
Eric Hoffer
I have been able to coach many managers over my nineteen years of training and consulting and one common issue that can occur with a manager is their fear of managing one of their employees. You may ask how this can happen? How can someone with more power, by title and authority, ever feel intimidated by someone of less power and authority? Well, it happens. Here are a few of the many reasons why it exists:
- The manager is insecure about their ability to lead. This manager may have been promoted without any training on how to confront and resolve conflict with employees.
- The manager is leading a strong employee that does not back down to authority. You may wonder how this employee can keep their job? Often times these employees have never been held accountable and they have years of knowledge that has made them "indispensable' to their organizations.
- The strong employee may feel they are protected by their union and will use everything in their power to equalize power with management.
So, what can a manager do that is experiencing the need to confront an intimidating employee?
- Identify why you have fear around this employee.. If you are new to managing or have never really confronted an employee you may need to get assistance from your boss, human resources or a management coach. Role play scenarios of "progressive discipline" found in most company handbooks with someone else to gain the confidence necessary to confront and resolve the issue.
- Make sure these tough employees are getting consistent feedback on a quarterly, semi-annual or at a minimum once a year. Once you get comfortable having employee feedback sessions make sure they continue to happen so you are not in a "reactive' mode to tougher issues that come forward.
- If an employee is using their union as a protector make sure you have a good relationship with the union steward or president so that you can dialogue about these issues in advance of approaching the employee. If the employee wants to have several union representatives with them during your tough conversation then make sure you have spoken with these representatives and clearly discussed the behavior that needs to change. Do not allow the union representatives to be blindsided or surprised by the issues.
- Practice the broken record approach. I learned this technique in a negotiation class taught by Bob Benedict. Whenever you have a tough conversation with an employee or even a family member, be clear about what you want to accomplish, i.e., this dominating behavior has got to stop and then repeat that phrase several times throughout the conversation as the employee tries to pull you off subject by blaming others etc. I suggest meeting with the problem employee in a neutral location that is private so any loud outburst will not be heard if the employee chooses to escalate the conflict.
Learning to confront and resolve conflict is important to being an effective manager. When the employee is intimidating, it becomes even more important that you find a way to overcome your fears and confront the reality that you need to have a tough conversation. By allowing other people to help you gain confidence, providing consistent feedback and not backing down, you will be on your way to becoming more effective as a leader and boss. |
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About Us
Diane Amundson is the owner of Diane Amundson & Associates. She has been training, speaking and consulting for over sixteen years in the areas of leadership, creativity, generational diversity, team building, sales communication, conflict resolution and strategic planning. She has worked with Fortune 500 Companies like General Mills and Pepsi Cola along with numerous school districts in Minnesota and Wisconsin. She has co-authored a book titled Success Strategies: A High Achiever's Guide to Success. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and has served as Adjunct Professor of Organizational Behavior at Winona State University.
She is a Rotarian that has traveled the world on humanitarian projects in Mongolia, India and Brazil.
Her style of speaking is informative and highly interactive.
Diane Amundson & Associates
Phone: (507)452-2232 Fax:(507)452-0090 24456 County Road 9 Winona, MN 55987 |
