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How to Work With A Chronic Complainer
Ahhh, the chronic complainer...you know, the one that never seems happy and tends to have a dark cloud surrounding them just like Pig-Pen has dirt and dust around him in the Peanuts comic strip. I know someone like this that I tend to avoid whenever I see her. If I dare ask her how her day is going, I get an earful of the trials and tribulations of her day, week and year. Here might be a few of her comments:
"The people in the department next to me are clueless".
"They always make us do so much paperwork and I bet no one ever reads this stuff."
"We are never appreciated around here...this is a thankless job."
"I have had this cold for weeks and nothing seems to work."
"My lower back aches all the time but I guess that comes with the job."
Now I have to be realistic here, as all of us have bad days now and then, when our work or family overwhelms us and we just need to vent.
But what about those employees who find the need to vent all the time? How do you deal with people like this? In this case, she does not work with me or for me, so I chose to avoid her on those few occasions when I see her. But what if she worked for me? How do I handle this type of employee, especially if she is getting her work done?
My first thought as a manager is to make sure that I listen for those complaints that are legitimate. Maybe we ask employees to complete paperwork that is not used for any real purpose. Listen for those complaints that others have voiced as well and make an effort to change the system. But what about the times when you have let the complainer know why you are unable to change the system and they continue to complain? You may want to consider these steps as you deal with this difficult situation:
- As a boss, make sure you are not role-modeling this negative behavior yourself. Sometimes we are unaware of our own behavior and its influence on those around us. As a manager, you are under a microscope with all of your employees carefully observing your attitude. Make sure you are not feeding the "complaining" fire.
- Understand that you are responsible for providing feedback to your employees on technical and behavioral aspects of their performance. Most managers do not have any problem telling an employee how to perform a task better but managers tend to lose sleep when they have to give feedback on behavioral issues like having a poor attitude or not listening well. The important point here is that allowing this negative behavior to continue in your employee is like telling your other employees that a negative culture is acceptable.
- Meet with your complaining employee in private and let them know how much their negative attitude is impacting their work and the work of others. You may choose to use the following phrases:
"When you continually complain about your work or co-workers, this creates a work environment that demotivates others. Your complaining detracts others from getting their work done. I need you to focus on what is going well with your job and co-workers and begin sharing the successes of your work with others."
- Begin your disciplinary process. For those companies that have an employee handbook, this is the time to review your process for disciplining an employee and get human resources involved if necessary. Start this process by documenting the above conversation.
- Allow the employee to make the correction in attitude in the next 30 days. If nothing changes and you continue to hear negative comments, create a fair but firm letter that again asks for the negative behavior to stop and let the employee know that this negative behavior may lead up to termination.
- Celebrate the change in behavior, or exit the employee if no change. I am always hopeful that with several warnings a behavior will change but sometimes it doesn't. The great part of this process is that you gave the employee several opportunities to change and they chose to exit themselves when you terminate them.
Dealing with an employee that continually complains creates sleepless nights for a manager. Even if this employee's work is technically sound, they still need to be held accountable for the behaviors they bring to work. Following the steps listed above will help you begin the process of providing valuable feedback to the employee, and if this is not successful, helping them out the door.
