You've heard the phrase, "People don't leave organizations, they leave bosses."  When I first heard this phrase, it really rang true for me, as I recalled a few times in my career, when I left a company because of how my boss treated me and made me feel. 

So, what makes a horrible boss? Here are just a few examples that I have experienced first hand, or been told by friends, family or my workshop participants over the years:

• When they yell at you alone or in front of others
• Make you feel inferior or incompetent by their words, thoughts and actions
• Never find the good in what you do. They only acknowledge you when you make a mistake.
• Threaten you with demotion or firing
• Take credit for your ideas
• They make mistakes and blame others for them
• Lie, cheat or steal to improve their image to their boss
• When they are absent most of the time but fly in to reprimand you and stir things up and then fly away again
• Sleep with their subordinates or bosses
• Have an addiction that affects their work
• Make you walk on egg shells all day because you don't know what mood they will be in

While this may be a partial list, I believe it represents what many employees experience at least once in their careers.  So what are your options when you have found yourself working for a horrible boss?

• Confide in a trusted co-worker- find out if this horrible boss chooses to treat only you horribly or treats everyone this way.  As we know, misery loves company, and you may learn a strategy or two that another co-worker uses to cope with this boss.

• Suck it up- this is a strategy that is aiming for a miracle, i.e., that your boss will quit, transfer or be promoted outside of your department.  Just know that your health and family may suffer from your repeated excuses for not taking action. Also know that this should never be a strategy if you are being abused or harassed in any way.

• Transfer to a different area-if your company has another department or location, consider moving to that area that has the best manager and needs your skills.

• Confide in your human resources representative or another manager you trust- while this carries more risk, it will be worth the effort if your boss has created a hostile work environment or is harassing you.  Your human resource rep or other manager should be trained in how to handle complaints and know that employment law protects you from retaliation. 

• Confront your boss- this is usually the last choice for most employees because of their fear of retaliation and because many have learned to avoid conflict growing up at home and school. I would first try talking with another manager and/or human resources before confronting your boss, especially if it entails harassment or hostile work environment issues.  If you are not finding human resources or others helpful, I suggest approaching your boss in a confidential & neutral location, i.e., conference room etc., and asking for a few moments of their time. Use "I" statements when possible and try this out:

"When you take credit for my ideas, I feel less valuable & taken advantage of and less likely to share other ideas"

Let there be silence until they respond and then ask for what you really want:

"Next time would you consider giving me credit for those ideas you choose to use?"

• Confide in your boss's boss- this needs to be a very calculated move as it can backfire on you instantly.  You may want to have an alternative job waiting if you choose this strategy as your boss will find out and may choose to make your life miserable. This strategy should be used if all other strategies have failed to this point. Once again, I would try and find an informal moment to approach him or her and ask for a few moments of their time.  Start your conversation by saying that you don't feel safe sharing this information with your boss or you have tried several times to confront your boss but it doesn't seem to change anything.  Then share specific examples of the horrible way you are being treated and how you would like to be treated.  Then be quiet and listen to their response.  Give a few days or weeks to see what happens before you make your next move.

• Quit-while it still remains a tough economy, quitting is always an option as being abused or mistreated should never be tolerated by you or any other employee....ever.

By following these strategies you will feel more in control of a situation that seems out of control.  Life is precious and short and your time should never be compromised by working for a horrible boss. 



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