Please Cut the Grieving Some Slack

by Maribeth Coye Decker

One of the disconcerting things I remember about grieving after my husband died at the age of 45 was that odd things came out of my mouth. I also recall some of the odd things my family said as well - they were grieving as deeply as I was. In addition, there were the unexpected emotions that surfaced and seemed to explode like a volcano. It was a time in my life when I was not always able to present that public persona of a rational and civil human being.

I am a recovered alcoholic. Looking back, those occasions of blurted, strange outbursts almost seem akin to my bad drunk memories - embarrassing behavior, wondering how I   could have said or done that. What was I thinking?

I'd like to ask everyone to be really forgiving of each other when someone is grieving. It's as if the useful gatekeeper that monitors our words and feelings to ensure their appropriateness and thoughtfulness goes on vacation at odd moments when we are coping with grief.

If you encounter strange words or behaviors from those who are grieving, remember how much you like or love the person or the person who died. Cut them some slack and respond with as much kindness and forgiveness as you can muster. And believe that when you are grieving, you will be met with kindness and forgiveness as a gift earned from your kindness to someone else.

About Maribeth Coye Decker, CMT, MS, MGA

www.sacredgrovebodywork.com