May 2012 IssueVol 3, Issue 11


I Did Not Know 

What To Say  



WELCOME EVERYONE! We are grateful that you have chosen to be a part of our online community.


As we look to celebrate Father's Day in a few weeks, we recognize that it can be a difficult time for those that have lost a child or have lost their father or grandfather. For those grieving a loss our hearts go out to you.  May you be comforted by your memories at this difficult time.


Featured Article - On Father's Day, When He's Gone, He's Not Forgotten by Janell Vasquez of Memories are Forever, offers many suggestions on how to create a lasting tribute by designing a personalized memory book to honor your father's memory.


Loss of a Parent - Visit our website for additional resources on how to support a loved one that is grieving the loss of a parent. If you have a resource or story to share, please email us at


Help Support the Grieving Dads Project - Kelly Farley, founder of Grieving Dads launched a 30-day Kickstarter fundraising campaign to help raise the funds to make his new book, Grieving Dads - To the Brink and Back, more available to people around the world. Their goal is to raise $20k before Father's DayClick here to learn more about this important project.


Do you have an inspirational story you would like to share? We invite you to submit your inspirational stories, letters that have reached your heart, a favorite quote or poem, an unforgettable outing, or a book that touched your life. We would love to hear from you.


Each month our newsletter will feature a new article giving you a different perspective on how to assist your friends and family through the grieving process. Please feel free to pass our newsletter on to anyone that may benefit from our articles and inspirational messages.


With Love and Gratitude,






"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters"
George Herbert

In This Issue
Featured Article
Grieving Dads: To The Brink and Back
Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts
Virtual Book Tour
About Us
Quick Links

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Featured Article

featuredOn Father's Day, When He's Gone, He's Not Forgotten
By Janell Vasquez


In just a few weeks, most families will circle the backyard barbecue pit or their favorite fishing hole to honor dad. But for others, Father's Day is a painful reminder that dad is no longer around.


It doesn't have to be that way. You can honor dad with a special tribute while making progress in the natural process of grieving by creating a Memory Book about him. Even when you are separated by distance, memories, stories and photos can still be easily created and shared.


Losing a father is devastating, and the holiday to honor fathers only gives your family one more day to realize how much you miss him. But instead of grieving, you can discover the power story has to help you heal. Sharing photos and memories, and taking part in meaningful activities centered on your father's life and tradition, will make this a more meaningful day for you.


Though it can be difficult -- especially if your loss is sudden or recent -- remembering dad openly and together will help your appreciation for your father grow. And you will be comforted as you hear the things that others remember most about your dad - stories you've never heard before, or forgotten.


Even when dads aren't with us, shared activities and mementos are ways to reaffirm, honor and cherish our relationship. What better tribute or timeless memorial gift than a memory book that captures the essence of Dad, grows with time, and can be passed from one generation to another? 


Ideas for Father's Day:

  • Recall your earliest memories of Dad, and ask others to share their memories -- how they met, times shared, anecdotes and turning points.
  • Record those memories and stories as a book, scrapbook, or in an iMemoryBook 'time capsule' - - so Dad can be honored and remembered on his day year after year.
  • Write a letter to him about significant and everyday life events, his influence ... or, family members can write letters that focus on their most meaningful experiences with him. Compile them; add new ones to your father's Memory Book every year.
  • Dig out a family photo album -- or create one that's all about Dad; share memories of the snapshot moments. Record them as photo captions for your book.
  • Create a memory box with keepsakes to treasure with your Memory Book-- these items will add a special significance to other special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries and family reunions.
  • Share memories with children and grandchildren; invite their contributions so that they're a part of the family legacy that will always include dad.



Janell Vasquez manages Memories are Forever at, a website that provides unique resources for grieving families struggling with pain and emotions of bereavement. Find ideas about remembering and paying tribute to your loved one there.  Article Source:



Grieving Dads
Grieving DadsdadsGrieving Dads: To The Brink and Back

A Nonfiction project in Naperville, IL by Kelly Farley


Book Summary by Kelly Farley:


In Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back, I tell the candid stories from grieving dads that I interviewed over the last two years. The book offers insight from fellow members of, in the haunting words of one dad I interviewed, "this terrible, terrible club," which consists of men who have experienced the death of a child. This book is a collection of survival stories by men who have survived the worst possible loss and lived to tell the tale. They are real stories that pull no punches and are told with brutal honesty. Men that have shared their deepest and darkest moments. Moments that included thoughts of suicide, self-medication and homelessness. Some of these men have found their way back from the brink while others are still standing there, stuck in their pain.  


The core message of Grieving Dads is "you're not alone." It is a message that desperately needs to be delivered to grieving dads who often grieve in silence due to society's expectations. 


I know I needed to hear it. And if you know someone who has lost a child, they need to hear too.


Grieving Dads Fundraiser Campaign

On May 17, Kelly launched a 30-day Kickstarter fundraising campaign to help raise the funds to make this much needed book more available to people around the world. His goal is to raise $20k before Fathers DayClick here to find out more on how you can support this important project.


Be sure to also read Positive Ways to Support a Grieving Dad by Kelly Farley, our featured newsletter article from June 2011.

Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas

Sympathy Gifts 


father memory boxFather's Day Remembrance Gifts
Loss of a child, Loss of a Father & Loss of a Grandfather


Visit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page for a wide variety of sympathy gift ideas for your loved ones. We hope the thoughtful gifts listed on our website inspire you to give warmth and joy to your friends and family in their time of need.


Virtual Book Tour & Interviews

We invite you to explore our Virtual Book Tour and Interviews with tips on how to assist a grieving loved one.

If you are an author or an expert in the grief recovery field and would like to be interviewed, please contact us at

To order these books and preview other inspirational books, be sure to visit our Helpful Books page.


About I Did Not Know What To & Lori Pederson
LoriLori Pederson created I Did Not Know What To Say in April 2009 as a platform to inspire and provide resources to people that wanted to help their friends and family through the grieving process. 
Lori's expertise comes from those experiences that only life can provide.  Over the past twenty years, Lori has lost many family members, including her mother to ovarian cancer, as well as many friends, colleagues and pets.  She is no stranger to loss and the grieving process.
Throughout her life she has been blessed with many friends and relatives that were there for her as she experienced these great losses. She understands that although people want to help, they often don't know where to start.  I Did Not Know What To was created out of Lori's desire to assist people find the words when they don't know what to say or do.
You can learn more about Lori and her organization by visiting, reading her personal Blog or contacting her at:
Lori Pederson

Each week we will be adding new inspirational stories and resources to our website and Blog.  Help us reach our goal of providing inspiration and insight to the world by sharing your story or resource with our online community.  We would love to hear from you! 
Share Your Story. Please email us your inspirational stories, letters/cards that have reached your heart, a favorite quote, an unforgettable adventure, a thoughtful gift idea, a book that touched your life, or a suggestion for our website or newsletter to 

If you are an author or expert in the field of grief recovery, we would love to interview you for our Blog and/or one of our upcoming newsletters.

If you have a website, Blog or newsletter, we ask that you consider including our information on your site.  Here is the link:   

I Did Not Know What To Say is a website created to inspire and provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.

With Love & Gratitude,


Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say

Copyright 2012' I Did Not Know What To Say(TM) Newsletter.  All Rights Reserved.