JANUARY 2011 IssueVol 2, Issue 7


I Did Not Know 

What To Say  



Happy New Year!  I would like to thank everyone for being a part of our online community.  


To begin with, we would like to send our love and support out to the people of Arizona after the devastating shooting in Tucson a few weeks ago.   Although your burdens are heavy and your loss is great, know that people everywhere are sending you love and we hope that each new day will lighten the heaviness you feel in your hearts today. 


Featured Article... In celebration of a New Year, I thought I would start off with a little Inspiration.  After my mother passed away, my friends took me on what I like to call an Inspirational Adventure to Disneyland.  An Inspirational Adventure, to me, is an opportunity to jump back into life and find even the smallest glimpse of joy when your life feels like it is falling part.  The Art of the Inspirational Adventure - Helping your Love One Find Fun & Adventure in the Grieving Process provides you with helpful tips on how to assist a loved one find their inspiration again.

Live on our Blog... Be sure to check-out our Virtual Book Tour featuring authors that have written inspirational books on grief and the healing process.  Our most recent interviews include:  Ellen Gerst -Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story,  Catherine Greenleaf - Healing The Hurt Spirit: Daily Affirmations for People Who Have Lost a Loved One to Suicide, and Pat Nowak - The ABC's of Widowhood.

If you missed one of our newletters, be sure to check out our I Did Not Know What To Say Newsletter Archive.

Do you have a story you would like to share?  We invite you to submit your inspirational stories, letters that have reached your heart, a favorite quote or poem, an unforgettable outing, or a book that touched your life.  We would love to hear from you. 


As we embark on a brand New Year, I would like to invite you to let us know what topics you are interested in knowing more about.  Please email your suggestions to me at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com.


Each month our newsletter will feature a new article giving you a different perspective on how to assist your friends and family through the grieving process. Please feel free to pass our newsletter on to anyone that may benefit from our articles and inspirational messages.

With Love & Gratitude,


"One joy shatters a hundred griefs."

Chinese Proverb

In This Issue
Featured Article
Monthly Inspiration
Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts
Discussion Topics
About Us
Quick Links

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HelpingFeatured Article of the Month

 The Art of the Inspirational Adventure -
Helping your Love One Find Fun & Adventure in the Grieving Process
by Lori Pederson, Founder I Did Not Know What To Say

The words fun and adventure are rarely discussed when someone is grieving. The grieving process can be lonely and full of a deep sense of loss and sadness for long periods of time. However, the grieving process can also include joy and inspiration.


its a small worldOver the holidays, I had the opportunity to go to Disneyland with my sister to see my niece's band perform. My last trip to Disneyland was over 17 years ago after my mother had passed away. As I walked through the park, I remembered how much joy it brought me to go to Disneyland even when I was in the midst of deep sadness.


My friends took me to Disneyland to help lift my spirits a few weeks after my mother's funeral. It was hard to imagine having fun while I was full of sadness, but when my friends suggested going to Disneyland, I felt it would be an opportunity for me to relax and have a little fun.


My mom loved Disneyland, and we went often when I was growing up. Going to Disneyland not only was a way to have fun, it was also a way to connect with my mom through a shared passion for the happiest place on earth.


We had a magical day. We let go, we had fun and just enjoyed the sunshine and the rides. It was a tremendous release!


Taking the time to take your loved one out of the everyday heaviness they are experiencing, can be an uplifting gift that they will cherish.   Here are a few suggestions on how to get started with planning an Inspirational Adventure:


1. What is their comfort level? Each person is unique and so to is the journey through the grieving process. When approaching a friend about getting out into the world, be compassionate about their comfort level. Always include them in the planning process.


2. Find adventures that are fun for them. What do they love to do? What have they always wanted to do? Help them reconnect with life and joy through the simple pleasures in life. Do they love going to the movies? Going to the beach? Walking through the park? Going to Disneyland? Did they always want to learn how to dance? Help them understand that they are allowed to have fun, even though they are grieving.


3. This is not a time to push or demand. Start out slow and offer options that move them in a direction of hope and joy. Allow them to say "no" if they are not ready.


4. Avoid surprises. The grieving process can be overwhelming. Even if your intentions are admirable, surprising someone that is grieving does not allow them the opportunity to back out if they are not ready or have had a rough day.


5. Start out slow and allow them to put one foot in front of the other. In the early stages of grief just getting out of bed and taking a walk can be difficult. Each little step forward will help your loved one restore balance in his or her life.


An Inspirational Adventure will not take away the deep feelings of sadness or cure the grief that your loved one is experiencing. However, it may bring a smile to their face, open their heart just a little, and help them begin to feel joy again.


Visit our Inspirational Adventure section on our website to read more inspirational stories.

2011 Lori Pederson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.   If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

This Month's Inspiration

inspirationWe Invite You to Share Your Inspirational Adventure Story

Our website includes an Inspirational Adventure section that features stories on how friends and family have inspired their loved ones to find joy and fun again after a loss. 


How did you find inspiration and joy when facing a loss?  How did your friends and family assist you?  We invite you to submit your suggestions and stories on how friends and family can assist a grieving loved one find joy and inspiration after a loss.


We hope by sharing your story you will inspire others to share the gift of love and compassion with their loved ones that are grieving.

Click here for details on how to Share Your Story.

Thoughtful Sympathy Gift Ideas

FlowerpetalVisit our Thoughtful Sympathy Gifts page for more sympathy gift ideas for your loved ones.  We hope the thoughtful gifts listed on our website inspire you to give warmth and joy to your friends and family in their time of need.

Posted on January 22, 2011 - Interview with Pat Nowak - Author of the ABC's of Widowhood

Posted on January 15, 2011 - Interview with Catherine Greenleaf - Healing The Hurt Spirit: Daily Affirmations for People Who Have Lost a Loved One to Suicide

Posted on December 29, 2010 -Interview with Ellen Gerst - Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story

Posted on October 26, 2010 - Interview with Carole Brody Fleet - Widows Wear Stilettos

Posted on June 28, 2010 - Interview with Lori A. Moore - Author Missing Andy

Poster on December 10, 2009 - Interview with Sally Wagner, Organized Peace - Professional Organizer

Posted on December 1, 2009- Interview with Author, Marcy Kelly - From Sorrow to Dancing

Posted on November 8, 2009 - Interview with Author, Jean Reagan - Always My Brother

Poster on September 21, 2009 - Interview with Mike Murphy - The Importance of Having a Will

If you are an author or an expert in the grief recovery field and would like to be interviewed, please contact us at info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

To order these books and preview other inspirational books, be sure to visit our Helpful Books page.


Discussion Topics

We invite you to join our on-going discussions on our Facebook page.  Not on Facebook?  We have also posted our discussion topics on our Blog.  Current topics include: 
About I Did Not Know What To Say.com & Lori Pederson
LoriLori Pederson created I Did Not Know What To Say in April 2009 as a platform to inspire and provide resources to people that wanted to help their friends and family through the grieving process. 
Lori's expertise comes from those experiences that only life can provide.  Over the past twenty years, Lori has lost many family members, including her mother to ovarian cancer, as well as many friends, colleagues and pets.  She is no stranger to loss and the grieving process.
Throughout her life she has been blessed with many friends and relatives that were there for her as she experienced these great losses. She understands that although people want to help, they often don't know where to start.  I Did Not Know What To Say.com was created out of Lori's desire to assist people find the words when they don't know what to say or do.
You can learn more about Lori and her organization by visiting www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com, reading her personal Blog or contacting her at:
Lori Pederson
Each week we will be adding new inspirational stories and resources to our website and Blog.   Help us reach our goal of providing inspiration and insight to the world by sharing your story or resource with our online community.  We would love to hear from you! 

Share Your Story. Please email us your inspirational stories, letters/cards that have reached your heart, a favorite quote, an unforgettable adventure, a thoughtful gift idea, a book that touched your life, or a suggestion for our website or newsletter to info@ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

If you are an author or expert in the field of grief recovery, we would love to interview you for our Blog and/or one of our upcoming newsletters.

If you have a website, Blog or newsletter, we ask that you consider including our information on your site.  Here is the link:
I Did Not Know What To Say
IDidNotKnowWhatToSay.com is a website designed to inspire and provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.
With Love & Gratitude,
Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say

Copyright 2010' I Did Not Know What To Say(TM) Newsletter.  All Rights Reserved.