November 2009 Issue Vol 1, Issue 5


I Did Not Know 

What To Say  



WELCOME EVERYONE!  Our online community is growing and we are honored to have you be a part of the journey.

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for the many blessings in our lives.  It is a time to show gratitude for those individuals in our life that lifted us up when we could not find the strength to do it ourselves.  For all those that have had the courage to stand by their friends and family through the grieving process we express our deepest gratitude.
Each month we will be featuring a new article giving you a different perspective on how to assist your friends and family through the grieving process. Please feel free to pass our newsletter on to anyone that may benefit from our articles and inspirational messages.
Have a suggestion or a story you would like to share?  We would love to hear from you.
With Love & Gratitude,

Wishing You & Your Family a
Happy Thanksgiving

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighten the flame within us."
 ~ Albert Schweitzer ~
In This Issue
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Upcoming Events
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Featured Article of the Month
Be the Gift of Comfort, Joy and Love this Holiday Season
by Lori Pederson               
The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone.  When you have lost a loved one, the holidays can be filled with mixed emotions of joy and sorrow.  After the loss of my mother, the first Thanksgiving and Christmas were filled with a sense of displacement.  My mother always hosted the holidays at her home.  Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and birthdays were always a celebration with many family and friends. 
After my mom passed away that all changed.  The first few years were an adjustment. I was blessed to be included in my sister's family festivities and when my dad moved back to California we were able to start new family traditions.
Over the holidays my home is still filled with memories of my mother's love for the holidays.  I have combined my new holiday decorations and traditions with some of my mom's favorites.  Making my mom's favorite holiday recipes each year helps me connect with her spirit and makes me feel like she is right there with me.
As we move into the holiday season, remember that your friends and family members that have lost a loved one may be experiencing deep feelings of loss during the holidays. Be sure to take the time to connect and let them know that they are loved.
Here are a few ways to be the gift they were hoping for this holiday season: 
  • Invite your loved one to join you for your holiday gathering.  As family members pass away, traditions change and a loved one may not be able to spend the holidays with their family.  Including them in your family festivities will help ease the loneliness they may be feeling this time of year.
  • Make a special date to go to dinner, have coffee, or to go shopping to have some private one-on-one time.  This special time will allow them the opportunity to talk about their feelings.
  • Help them with holiday arrangements.  If they are hosting a holiday gathering, offer to help them prepare the food or offer to go shopping for them to take a little stress off of their shoulders.  Ask if they would like you to prepare a favorite food that may have been a family tradition.
  • Take them out for a special day of pampering to a spa or to have a massage.  Relaxation and pampering will assist both of you with the stress of the holidays.
  • Celebrate the memories of their loved one by sharing stories and going through photo albums together.  This activity will give your friend or family member the opportunity to celebrate their happy memories. 
Having the support of friends and family during the holidays can make all the difference.  So as you are making out your to do list for the holidays, be sure to include those friends and family members that might need a little extra love and care this time of year.
We invite you to share your holiday stories and suggestions with us on our Blog or by email at  Our December newsletter will feature more suggestions on how to be a wonderful gift to your friends and family this holiday season.
This Month's Inspiration - Hospice Care
I wanted to express my gratitude to the men and women that work in hospice care throughout the world.   My mom, aunt and friend Dan all were cared for by these compassionate individuals that provide such needed care.  It truly takes a special person to provide comfort, joy and compassion for the terminally ill and their families.  These individuals are often in the background of one of the most difficult times in our lives and yet their service is so important.
To help support the efforts of Hospice care, we have listed many Hospice facilities on our Grief Resources page.  We invite you to submit your stories of appreciation and recommend your local Hospice facility to be added to our website.
Upcoming Events
Virtual Book Tour
Posted on November 8, 2009
- Author, Jean Reagan - Always My Brother December 1, 2009 - Author, Marcy Kelly - From Sorrow to Dancing
Our Virtual Book Tour on our Blog will feature a special interview with an author that has written a book on one of the following topics: grief support, how to assist a loved one through the
grieving process
, and living your life to the fullest.

If you are an author and would like to be interviewed for our Virtual Book Tour, please contact us at

To order these books and preview other inspirational books, be sure to visit our Helpful Books page.
About I Did Not Know What To & Lori Pederson
LoriLori Pederson created I Did Not Know What To Say in April 2009 as a platform to inspire and provide resources to people that wanted to help their friends and family through the grieving process. 
Lori's expertise comes from those experiences that only life can provide.  Over the past twenty years, Lori has lost many family members, including her mother to ovarian cancer, as well as many friends, colleagues and pets.  She is no stranger to loss and the grieving process.
Throughout her life she has been blessed with many friends and relatives that were there for her as she experienced these great losses. She understands that although people want to help, they often don't know where to start.  I Did Not Know What To was created out of Lori's desire to assist people find the words when they don't know what to say or do.
You can learn more about Lori and her organization by visiting, reading her personal Blog or contacting her at:
Lori Pederson
(703) 660-8522
Each week we will be adding new inspirational stories and resources to our website and blog.   Help us reach our goal of providing inspiration and insight to the world by sharing your story or resource with our online community.  We would love to hear from you! 
Please email us your inspirational stories, letters/cards that have reached your heart, a favorite quote, an unforgettable adventure, a thoughtful gift idea, a book that touched your life, or a suggestion for our website or newsletter to
If you are an author or expert in the field of grief recovery, we would love to interview you for our Blog and/or one of our upcoming newsletters.

If you have a website, blog or newsletter, we ask that you consider including our information on your site.  Here is the link:
I Did Not Know What To Say is a website designed to inspire and provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.
With Love & Gratitude, 
Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say

 Copyright 2009' I Didn't Know What To Say(TM) Newsletter.  All Rights Reserved.