Welcome Issue Vol 1, Issue 1


I Did Not Know 

What To Say  


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Our mission is to assist you in finding the tools and resources to help a loved one through the grieving process.  As well as provide you with inspirational ideas for everyday living. 
Friends and family play such an important part in the recovery process.  They can make all the difference to someone that is grieving.  We hope that our monthly newsletter provides you with insightful information that you can use and pass on to others.
With Love & Gratitude,
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.
H. Humphrey
In This Issue
Featured Article of the Month
Free Special Report
This Month's Inspiration
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Featured Article of the Month
What To Say... When You Don't Know What To Say
Finding the words to support a loved one through the grieving process

by Lori Pederson  

When my mother passed away, I received a card from a friend of mine that touched me so deeply I can still remember it 16 years later.  The card was humorous and the note he wrote was the perfect balance of empathy, humor and reality.  You see Chris had lost his father about a month before I had lost my mom and he knew intimately what I was going through.  This card was the cornerstone to developing the website www.IDidNotKnowWhatToSay.com.   I wanted to encourage people to be thoughtful and supportive of their friends and family when they are going through a great loss.  The topic of death is difficult and many people "freeze" when the subject comes up.  Our website is dedicated to helping you find the words when you don't know what to say.
Put your heart into it.  There are many ways to express your deep concern and support for a friend or family member when they have lost a loved one.  I have found that when you put your heart into what you write it makes all the difference.  One of the cards I received simply said, "I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you all week, and I will keep you in my prayers."  It was from a friend's mother that I did not know very well, but I was so touched that she would take the time to send a card.  I could feel the love and sincerity in the note and it made a lasting impression on me.
Know your audience.  People have many belief systems when it comes to death, grief and the burial process.  Religion, culture, family experiences, personality, the age of the person and their gender can all impact how they handle the grieving process.  It is important to take these factors into consideration and not diminish the person's feelings or beliefs.  This is not a time to "preach" to someone.  It is a time to reach out and open your heart. 
Offer your support.  The most fundamental thing you can offer someone in grief is your support.   My friend Michele sent me this note after my mom passed away,"We will be there to do those things you are not able to" and she really was.  She helped make phone calls to my family the night my mom passed away, she was there at the memorial service, and was there through all the ups and downs as I recovered from this great loss.

I have found that most people appreciate knowing you care and that you are there to support them. A simple note of encouragement like this one can make all the difference: "Please know that I'm willing to help you out in any way you might need me to during this difficult time. I'd love to bring your family dinner or take you out for coffee if you ever need to talk."

My old roommate used to send me cards on my mom's birthday as a reminder that she was thinking of me. My aunt sends her sister-in-law a card on the anniversary of her son's death just to let her know that she is not alone.  

I am deeply appreciative of all the love and encouragement I have received from my friends and family through the many losses in my life.  My greatest hope is that everyone receives that kind of deep support when they are going through a loss.

2009 Lori Pederson
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:  Lori Pederson, Founder of I Did Not Know What To Say, a website built to inspire and to provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.   If you would like our free newsletter on how to assist your friends and family members through the journey of restoring balance in their life after the death of a love one, please visit our website at www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com.

FREE Special Reports
As part of your Free Monthly Newsletter Subscription to I Did Not Know What To Say Ezine, we are including a copy of our Free Special Report.  Please click on the link below to download the report.
This Month's Inspiration
Angel Flowers by Mary-Suzanne Peters
Life Wishes

The Universe speaks to us, answers us, if we ask; it is our job to listen.  One day I took an action that I knew would change the course of my life -  an action that involved standing up in more of my own individuality.  As I drove down the freeway, I silently asked the universe to let me know that I had stepped in the correct direction.  Exiting the freeway, I looked up into what for miles had been a cloudless sky and saw this cloud.  I took this as a "Yes".   I feel very blessed to have had this cloud appear to me and I feel that it carries an energy of protection and guidance.  

To Order Angel Flower, please visit www.lifewishes.com.  
About I Did Not Know What To Say.com & Lori Pederson
LoriLori Pederson created I Did Not Know What To Say in April 2009 as a platform to inspire and provide resources to people that wanted to help their friends and family through the grieving process. 
Lori's expertise comes from those experiences that only life can provide.  Over the past twenty years, Lori has lost many family members, including her mother to ovarian cancer, as well as many friends, colleagues and pets.  She is no stranger to loss and the grieving process.
Throughout her life she has been blessed with many friends and relatives that were there for her as she experienced these great losses. She understands that although people want to help, they often don't know where to start.  I Did Not Know What To Say.com was created out of Lori's desire to assist people find the words when they don't know what to say or do.
You can learn more about Lori and her organization by visiting www.ididnotknowwhattosay.com, reading her personal Blog or contacting her at:
Lori Pederson
6614 Tenth Street, A1
Alexandria, VA  22307
(703) 660-8522

Each week we will be adding new inspirational stories and resources to our website and blog.   Help us reach our goal of providing inspiration and insight to the world by sharing your story or resource with our online community.  We would love to hear from you! 
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I Did Not Know What To Say
IDidNotKnowWhatToSay.com is a website designed to inspire and provide you with tools to assist a love one through the grieving process.
With Love & Gratitude, 
Founder, I Did Not Know What To Say

Copyright 2009' I Didn't Know What To Say(TM) & Lori Pederson.  All Rights Reserved.