Good afternoon all, I was finally able to sneak away for a little water cooler break. Today I thought we should have a conversation about something near and dear to all of us, our parents. I direct this to those of us considered Baby Boomers. I have recently heard on NPR (National Public Radio ~ so it's got be true, right?!) that our generation is also known as the Sandwich Generation. Why you say? Well it seems that more and more of us are caring for aging parents, AND children. Some families are finding that they must have multiple generations living together either for health or financial reasons. The question becomes; how do we balance the needs of our aging parents while still raising a family ourselves? The answer is with Dignity and Patience.
I recently had a firsthand experience that challenged my use of these skills. My father had triple bypass and valve replacement surgery. My sister was providing respite care for him in her home. My mother was also a guest in the home. My sister had to be away, so without discussing it with my mother, she arranged to have my brother stay at the house.
My mother felt she was being "babysat" as she was not consulted prior to decisions being made. Heated words were exchanged. When cooler heads prevailed, we explained to Mom that she could not independently care for Dad's needs. If they both became injured the situation would be compounded.
She agreed, and the family learned a valuable lesson that communication and discussion were vital.
We as the children need to remember that our parents have made hard decisions in their lifetime. They have done the best that they could with the knowledge they had at the time, and unless your parents are cognitively impaired; we must understand that they still want/need to have control over their lives.
This can be hard for us as children to comprehend. Even when we think we know what is best for our parents, and are trying to do what is right for them, we can lose sight that they are adults and have life experiences that we may know little or nothing about.
There are many organizations that can provide services to our parents as they age. The greatest service that we can provide is to LISTEN to what they need. So keep this in mind when your folks comment that they have a problem. Remember to include them in the decision making process to solve the problem. Treating everyone with dignity, sprinkled with a healthy dose of patience will work wonders.
Send your comments and thoughts to john@castellinsurance.com
