Contractor Comedy
A duck walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!" "I see your eyes are working." says the duck. "And you talk!" exclaims the bartender. "I see your ears are working also" says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich, please?" "Certainly," says the bartender, "Sorry about that, its just we don't get many ducks in this bar. What are you doing 'round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So, the duck drinks his beer, eats his ham sandwich, and leaves. The duck comes into the bar every day for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the bar and the bartender says to him; "You're with the circus, aren't you? I know this duck that would be just fantastic in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!" "Sounds marvelous," says the circus ringleader, "Get him to give me a call." So, the next day, the duck comes into the bar and the bartender says, "Hey, Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money too!" "Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus." answers the bartender. "The circus?" the duck inquires. "That's right." replies the bartender. "The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle, and all the cages?" asks the duck. "Exactly!" says the bartender. The duck looks confused and asks "What the hell do they want with a plasterer?" | 
