COOKED COURTSHIP

Can you be successfully raw with a partner who isn't?

Ok, this is it. You've decided to be committed to raw foods. You've come to terms with how great you feel.  You have perfected your every day recipes, and you have a routine that's both doable and exciting. You have fallen in love with yourself all over again, or for the first time for real.  You have made a choice to live life as a whole new you.

With so much renewed vibrancy, you can't help but want to share with your friends and family the benefits of your raw food journey. Right?  In doing this, you may find instant support or you may find yourself alone, continuing to share your wonderful new food and patiently waiting for them to see what you see.

What happens, however, in a partnership where your significant other didn't join you in your raw discovery, or if you are in a new relationship with someone who eats vastly different from yourself? Does love truly conquer all? Or, will you find yourself in a losing battle and, possibly, with a lost love?

It may be, that do to the relationship around you that you decide that living 100% raw is not for you. Preparing and sharing food has always been an important way we socialize and connect with those around us, and a special way we are able to show love. If you find yourself with a partner who eats differently but is willing to explore new foods, with a little flexibility in your own diet, you could easily find a balance.

Above all, consider is your personal priorities and where you are going to draw the line. Consider the following factors:

• Why do you want to "go raw" in the first place?
• Do you have existing medical conditions like asthma, cancer and dancer where a high raw diet is critically important?
• How do you feel while on a high raw diet?

You may find that 100% raw is critically important.  Or, you might find that it is important to you to eat mostly raw and get a certain amount of daily greens, yet you are willing to have a cooked meal once or twice a week or incorporate meat on certain occasions or with certain company?

Whether or not you decide to "stay raw" in a cooked food world, there are many ways that you can eat healthy, raw foods that do not seem too odd to those eating cooked foods. 

Consider these:

• Have a green juice or smoothie every day
• Have a green soup or salad every day
• Have raw crackers, breads and fruit leathers on hand to snack on
• Have raw cereal, granola and chia to eat for breakfast
• Enjoy nut milks rather than dairy.

When considering how to eat raw and be in a successful relationship, you have to first be honest and realistic about your guidelines and how it is you need to eat in order to feel best about yourself. When you are ready, you will find a way to share this information with your loved one.  All strong partnerships are based on honesty, so sharing your values around health and food will be an important step. If met with acceptance, the relationship could prove even stronger. If met with resistance, you have some choices to make.

What role does food play in your relationship? If you find that you and your partner can happily prepare food for yourselves individually and then dine together at the same table at the same time, then this is an option. Or, perhaps you will make your raw food most of the time, and share it when you are partner seems interested.  If, on the other hand, you find yourself feeling isolated and unable to share an important piece of your life and self, then you may need to discuss a compromise or reevaluate how fulfilling the relationship truly is.

In any case, this is the month where we celebrate love, so take a moment and turn your eyes inward. The more love you give yourself, the more love you have to give to those around you. No matter where you are in your burgeoning or existing partnerships, make sure, first and foremost, you are head over heels for YOU.

-- Jessica Rayfield and Heather Haxo Phillips