As we announced in our February edition, the 9th annual Women Swimmin' for Hospicare will take place on Saturday, August 18, 2012 at the Ithaca Yacht Club. Registration for swimmers and boaters is tentatively set for May 7, 2012. We will finalize this date soon, so look for confirmation of registration opening in our May edition.

This year's swim is a week later than in past years and happens to coincide with the weekend new Cornell students (and their parents) arrive in town. If you will require overnight accommodations for the swim, we strongly recommend you book rooms soon. We have reserved blocks of rooms at Country Inn & Suites Ithaca (607-256-1100) and Econo Lodge (607-257-1400). Rooms are on reserve only until May 15, so call early and ask for the Women Swimmin' rate (some restrictions apply). Additional lodging information can be found at http://www.visitithaca.com/lodging/.

We have been hard at work revamping our Women Swimmin' for Hospicare website. Exciting changes will be coming soon. Visit our website in early May to see the new look and function!

Island Health & Fitness is sponsoring training clinics for Women Swimmin'. Train with veteran swim instructor Sue Norberg for the swim across the lake. The focus will be on open water swimming, technique, and safety. Join fellow swimmers or meet new friends, find a training buddy, and have fun! Call 607-277-3861 to sign up or for more information on the training clinics.

Felicia's Atomic Lounge will once again be hosting a special night of relaxin' to benefit Women Swimmin'. "Women Chillin'" will be held at Felicia's from 5-7 PM on May 8, 2012. Come celebrate Women Swimmin' registration by socializing with other swimmers, boaters, and Women Swimmin' supporters!  Felicia's will donate a portion of the evening's proceeds to Women Swimmin' for Hospicare.

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares."
- Henri Nouwen

On Thursday, March 15th, Hospicare's bereavement counselors presented a one-session program entitled "Grief 101: Supporting Another in Loss," with about a dozen people in attendance. This same program will be offered a second time on Thursday, May 10th. As with our other bereavement offerings, it is free and open to the public; but this time, we've been reaching out to a different audience.

Our programs generally serve those personally affected by a loss -- often spouses, children, parents, or close friends of those who have passed. This program, on the other hand, caters to those supporting those who have experienced a loss.

The format thus departs from the norm: while many of our programs take the form of support groups, with an emphasis on fostering a group dynamic and encouraging personal sharing, "Supporting Another in Loss" follows a primarily educational, didactic model, albeit with opportunities to discuss any questions people may have. Participants will arrive to find chairs arranged to face the facilitators instead of each other. It's worth noting that people who are supporting others are sometimes deeply affected by the same loss themselves, or by another loss; those bearing particularly heavy burdens are encouraged to seek one-on-one counseling or consider attending one of our support groups.

Donna George, LMSW, FT (manager of bereavement services) and Kira Lallas, LMSW (hospice and community bereavement counselor) will co-facilitate. They will provide education about the grief experience, and then highlight ways of talking with a bereaved person, specific actions participants can take, and how to know if a loved one might need extra support.

"That's a question we get a lot," explains Kira. "How do I know for myself or someone else if this is something that's a little beyond what's normal?" Donna adds, "Part of our mission in our bereavement program is to educate people about grief and loss, and ways people can support one another in the grief process."

So what prompted development of a program to educate those supporting others? Kira continues: "One of the things that come up time and time again for people who are grieving is they feel undersupported or not supported at all by the people closest to them. It comes up individually in counseling. It isn't uncommon to have a grieving person come in with a friend/family member/partner when that other person wants to be a better support. So while this type of event is new, we have often provided indirect support on an individual basis."

Support for the grieving often comes up short despite the best of intentions. As one participant noted after the March 15th session, "Grief is a process, and everybody grieves differently. Just because I might react one way doesn't mean I should expect someone else to react the same way." When asked how the program led her to reflect on past experiences, she said, "I had sort of a 'Gee, I wish I'd realized that' moment." Now more mindful of variation among styles of grieving, she feels she could have offered more empathy and support for those who process grief differently.

What can participants expect to take away from the event? While the experience is undoubtedly as individual and personal as the grief process itself, Kira offers a few specific points: "A deeper understanding of the grief process and what others are going through, increased comfort in being with someone who's grieving and maybe going through a lot of difficult feelings, and some specific tools and language to use to be more supportive to loved ones."

Just as experiencing grief is an inherent part of living, so too is witnessing grief in those closest to us. Consider joining us on May 10th for "Grief 101: Supporting Another in Loss." Although it is free, please register by May 4th by calling (607-272-0212) or e-mailing Donna (dgeorge@hospicare.org) or Kira (klallas@hospicare.org).


For more information on Hospicare's bereavement program, visit http://www.hospicare.org/are-you-grieving/. For our calendars and details on upcoming events and groups, visit http://www.hospicare.org/events/.

Hospicare presents the Hospice Foundation of America's 19th Annual "Living with Grief" Spring Program: End-of-Life Ethics (Tuesday, May 1,
2:15-5:45 PM,
Borg Warner Room of the Tompkins County Public Library, 101 East Green Street, Ithaca)

Hosted by Hospicare and co-sponsored by Cayuga Medical Center and the Ithaca College Gerontology Institute, this program (provided on DVD by the Hospice Foundation of America) uses a case-study approach to examine end-of-life ethical issues and dilemmas.

Ethical decisions at the end of life provide a convergence point for all the factors that influence end-of-life care such as finances, laws, values, culture, and technology. The decisions that are made at the end of life affect not only the way that the person dies, but also the ways that survivors face the loss. These decisions may influence staff -- affecting morale and turnover, and thus directly influencing patient care as well as families struggling with grief.

This program explores ethical dilemmas that are likely to arise at the end of life, the principles of ethical decision-making, and the effects of these decisions on staff and families. Case studies will be used to illustrate ethical issues that will be addressed by the program panel.

Hospicare will show the program and facilitate a panel discussion with local experts including Charles Guttman, Attorney at Law; Tatiana Patrone, Ph.D., Assistant Professor, Department of Philosophy and Religion, Ithaca College; and Dr. Eric Lessinger, Hospicare Medical Director. Jefferson Collins, LCSW, will facilitate.

There is no cost to attend, although there is a $35 fee if participants wish to receive three continuing education (CE) credits and/or purchase the companion book. For more information on CE credits, contact Melissa Travis Dunham (mdunham@hospicare.org or 607-272-0212) or refer to the Hospice Foundation of America's website.

Contact Melissa by April 24 to register. Please indicate whether you will be registering for CE credits.

On Saturday, April 14th, The Oasis Dance Club is celebrating their 3rd anniversary with a concert by the Ageless Jazz Band. A $10 donation is requested for admission, with proceeds going to benefit Hospicare!

The event goes from 6:00-8:30 PM. Cake & champagne will be served.

The Oasis is located at 1230 Danby Road in Ithaca. For more information, call The Oasis at 607-273-1505, visit their website, or read more about the Ageless Jazz Band.

Come out, have fun, and support Hospicare!

 

Hospicare invites the community to experience music in a peaceful setting, and to see the beauty of the Hospicare residence and gardens.

In cooperation with the Ithaca College School of Music, Hospicare is hosting two musicales at the Nina K. Miller Hospicare Center. Upcoming performances will be:

• April 20 at 5:30 PM, featuring Piano Chamber Ensembles
• May 4 at 5:30 PM, featuring Woodwind Chamber Ensembles

All performances feature students from the Ithaca College School of Music. Come enjoy delightful music and light refreshments in the relaxed atmosphere of the Hospicare Great Room. For more information, contact jdemakos@hospicare.org or call 607-272-0212.

Tompkins/Tioga Neighborhood Legal Services (TTNLS), in conjunction with the Tompkins County Bar Association, has organized a presentation on legal issues of particular relevance to older adults.

Experienced attorneys will be presenting on the basics of wills, healthcare proxies, powers of attorney, and Medicare eligibility issues, and they will be on hand afterwards to answer questions. The panel is being held on May 2nd from 1-3 PM at Lifelong, 119 West Court Street in Ithaca, and is free and open to the public.

The elder law presentation is being given in observance of Law Day in early May, which is a time for the New York State Bar Association to emphasize pro bono service.

TTNLS will provide a sign-up sheet for those in the audience interested in a referral to a private attorney for simple will, healthcare proxy, power of attorney, or Medicare counsel and advice. Those age 60+ who are income eligible may qualify for pro bono services.

For more information contact Sara Korol, an Equal Justice Works/AmeriCorps Legal Fellow at TTNLS, at 607-273-3667.

By Jayne Demakos,
Hospicare Music Coordinator

As you may have read in this e-newsletter in recent months, on March 4th and 6th the Kitchen Theatre hosted benefit readings of a play, Peaches and Bird, written by Carol Kammen and directed by Sue Perlgut.

Carol is a former Hospicare board member and Sue previously produced Beets and Beans: Living and Dying with Hospice. Several Hospicare staff joined the cast and crew for "talk-backs" after each show.

I attended the March 4th reading, and though I had seen clips from the play at the end of Beets and Beans, I really came with a sense of openness and maybe a bit of naiveté.

Yvonne Fisher, one of the two actors (the other was Camilla Schade), is a friend of mine and so I especially went to support her. The story is of a remarkable friendship between two women, a rare kind of sisterhood I feel many of us long to have. They share an incredible closeness, one different from the closeness between the women and their spouses.

Camilla played the main character, Peaches, who leads a narrative by which she replays the development of her friendship with Bird, and then takes the audience through Bird's subsequent illness and death.

Read the whole story as a PDF.

The grief memoir reading group at Buffalo Street Books continues in April with Blue Nights, by Joan Didion.

The group began in February and will continue through May, meeting at 3 PM on the first Sunday of each month.

Each session will have featured a current bestselling work that deals with grief and loss from a different angle:

• February 5th - History of a Suicide by Jill Bialosky
• March 4th - [sic]: A Memoir by Joshua Cody
• April 1st - Blue Nights by Joan Didion
• May 6th - Two Kisses for Maddy by Matt Logelin

Participants are welcome to join for any or all of the remaining sessions. 

 

Please visit the Buffalo Street Books web site for more information.

April dates include:

• Mindfulness Practice - Wednesdays; 7:30-9:00 PM
• Women Singin' - April 3; 5:30-7:00 PM  
• Continuing Bonds Support Group - April 3 & 17; 5:30-7:00 PM
• Evening Bereavement Support Group - April 4 & 18; 5:30-7:00 PM 
• Tuesday Lunch Group - April 10; 12:00 PM
• Registration Deadline for "Grief 101: For Grievers" - April 13 (event occurs April 19) 
• The Oasis's 3rd Anniversary Celebration to benefit Hospicare - April 14; 6:00-8:30 PM
• Next Performance in Hospicare 2012 Musicale Series - April 20, 5:30 PM 
• First Spring Volunteer Training Session - April 23; 5:30-9:00 PM (please contact us to register)    
• Registration Deadline for HFA's 19th Annual "Living with Grief" Spring Program: End-of-Life Ethics - April 24 (event occurs May 1) 
• Wednesday Breakfast Group - April 25; 8:30 AM