WRRC Newsletter no. 3

                      October 2011

It is every woman's fundamental right to live in safety and security in her home and community - free from the threat of violence.

This month provides an opportunity to raise awareness about violence against women and its prevention. It has been recognized in Ontario since 1986. This is a month to reaffirm our collective responsibility to end violence against women. With great admiration, I think of the women I have met who have experienced domestic violence and yet have gone on to build a better life for themselves and their children. Their stories are inspiring and compel us to do more in preventing woman abuse as we strive to meet WRRC's vision to end abuse against women and children.

November 25th marks International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. Communities around the world will renew their commitment to do more to end the violation of women and children's rights to safety in their homes and their communities.

How you can take action during Woman Abuse Prevention Month

Support the Coin Box campaign

Look for our coin boxes at various locations throughout Strathroy and Area for the month of November.  Drop in your loose change (or more) All proceeds will support the work of WRRC. 

Shine the Light Campaign - Cooper Standard

"Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day."
-- Sally Koch

Melissa Vukovich is a relative newcomer to Strathroy, so when she was looking for an opportunity to get involved she was impressed to find the Women's Rural Resource Centre. Interested in helping other women, her assistance has been utilized, among other things, in providing the needed transportation for a client to be able to attend a group meeting. As Melissa notes, "if this were an urban centre, you could just hand them a bus ticket". Lacking public transportation and our large service area, a client's desire to participate cannot always be matched to ability. Thankfully, that's where our volunteers come in.

Since isolation both physically and emotionally can be a part of the abused woman's experience, many are taken aback when they discover that Melissa is not paid for her efforts. "They seem surprised by this, and often become quiet when they find this out." Melissa's willingness to become a volunteer driver has meant that for this client and others, the isolation and beliefs that they don't deserve kindness are in fact, untrue. It is a valuable part of the healing process and Melissa can take credit for being a part of this woman's journey.  

If you are interested in volunteering for the Women's Rural Resource Centre, contact Frances. She can help you find the perfect fit that matches your skills with the needs of the centre or our clients.

Frances can be reached at 519-246-1526 ext. 239 or by email at francesh@wrrcsa.org

I recently stayed in the Women's Rural Resource Centres shelter for the fourth time. Shortly after I had gotten there one of the counsellors stopped to ask me how I was settling in and how I was feeling. I let her know I had settled in well, all of the counsellors had been very welcoming & supportive. The shelter has a home-like atmosphere which makes an uncomfortable situation feel incredibly comfortable. I went on to tell her how embarrassed I felt being in shelter for the fourth time. The counsellor assured me I had no reason to feel embarrassed. She reminded me of the strength and courage that it took me to leave. The understanding and non-judgement of the staff at WRRC made it safe for me to open up and be honest about the abuse I experienced throughout my life time.

Through woman abuse education groups I learned that it takes a woman an average of seven times to leave an abuser before she leaves permanently. Other women in the group related to this and had left their abusers before too. The women staying in shelter act as a support to each other, as we all struggle with similar issues. Living in shelter gave me the time and private space to reflect and relax. It is a safe place to rethink, share and grow. To start making positive changes in my life.

The caring staff are very knowledgeable and have a lot of experience dealing with the many different factors of woman abuse. I was provided with support services relating to legal, financial, emotional and mental health matters while connected with WRRC. I was also referred to services that are helping me reconnect with my aboriginal roots and teach me native healing techniques.

Over time, through safety planning, supportive one on one counselling and transition services I've begun my path to living a life without violence. Women's Rural Resource Centre has provided me the support and understanding of woman abuse that I need to make positive changes in my life. I know that I can look to them for support any time I need to as I continue my journey to living a life without violence.

The Women's Rural Resource Centre was born from the desire to assist women who were in crisis and had no place to go within the rural community. This has, as you all know, grown to be much more. Our mission is to provide education, prevention and support services for women and families impacted by abuse in Middlesex County. Our vision is to end abuse against women and children.

Families - women, children, men. In order to fulfill our mission and work towards the completion of our vision, we are aware of the need to reach out to the men who are a part of the family dynamic. In this spirit, WRRC has partnered with the Children's Aid Society and Changing Ways to offer this exciting new program. Six men have chosen to participate in the 17 week program. Initially they were asked to consider the following questions -

• Do you sometimes feel so angry with your child that you feel like blowing up?
• Are you concerned that your relationship with your child is not as close as you hoped it would be?
• At times, are you concerned about the level of discipline you seem to need to keep your child in line?
• Are you concerned that conflict between you and your child's mother is having a negative impact on your child?

Since men play such an important part in their families lives, this group is an effort to help men identify the areas of parenting they find difficult. It also allows them an opportunity to reflect on their upbringing and in doing so may be able to make connections about their early life experiences and that which they are exposing or conditioning their children. 

Caring Dads is only the first step in becoming more inclusive as we all work together to end abuse against women and children. We applaud this group of men as they take the first steps to make their lives and those of their families a more supportive and peaceful environment.

9-year-old Michael Conway decided he wanted to do something in support of his community. So earlier this summer, he began making and perfecting his own colorful scented candles of different shapes and sizes to sell with all proceeds going to the Women's Rural Resource Centre. He says the reason why is simple "Cause the Women's Rural Resource Centre does so many good things for the community I thought I might do this in return."

Through the sales of his homemade candles Michael was able to make a donation of $458.72 in support of the many services provided to woman and children impacted by woman abuse throughout Middlesex County. 

Thank you to everyone who participated, volunteered and sponsored walkers in the

2011 Walk a Mile in Her Shoes 

With over 100 men walking the event was another success!

Stay tuned for more detials as the students of Holy Cross Secondary School take on the Walk a Mile challenge! 

              Team GOODLIFE!

December 6 is the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women in Canada. Established in 1991 by the Parliament of Canada, this day marks the anniversary of the murders in 1989 of 14 young women at l'École Polytechnique de Montréal. They died because they were women.

As well as commemorating the 14 young women whose lives ended in an act of gender-based violence that shocked the nation, December 6 represents an opportunity for Canadians to reflect on the phenomenon of violence against women in our society. It is also an opportunity to consider the women and girls for whom violence is a daily reality, and to remember those who have died as a result of gender-based violence. And finally, it is a day on which communities can consider concrete actions to eliminate all forms of violence against women and girls.

Yearly on December 6th, WRRC holds a vigil in memory of these 14 women and for the far too many women and children murdered by an intimate partner in Ontario each year. We invite the community to join us to pause and reflect on the phenomenon of violence against women in our society. It is a day to reflect on all the women who live daily with the threat of violence or who have died as a result of deliberate acts of gender-based violence. It is a day for communities to reflect on concrete actions that we can take personally and collectively to prevent and eliminate all forms of violence against women.

Details for this year's vigil are not yet available, please watch for this announcement.