January 2012 - Happy New Year!    
HOPE Newletter
Courtesy of Marnocha Funeral Home
 
Dear Friends,

A senior executive with a large firm went through several losses in a brief period of time.  It was difficult for him to believe he could ever be happy again.

Then, in a small, antique shop he saw a painting for sale which caught his eye.  Initially, it didn't seem like much of an art piece.  

It was the painting of a large rowboat stranded on a small sand island.  Two oars rested in the sand beside the boat. The ocean was at low tide and water could be seen twenty or thirty feet behind it.

Clearly, the boat was just stuck on the sandbar. At first glance, the picture could appear to be a depressing image:  a boat created to float across water was stranded.

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Yet, it was something at the very bottom of the picture which conveyed to the executive a powerful lesson.  There, these five words were displayed:  
    
  The tide always comes back.

The painting, combined with those words, generated a new hope within the executive.  Those words gave him courage and confidence to move forward.

Today, that painting hangs in his office.  Anytime he feels discouraged or despondent, he looks at the painting and reminds himself: The tide always comes back!

As a new year begins, remember that painting and the caption. Whenever you find yourself feeling stuck, stranded, struggling, tell yourself - The tide always comes back.

Like the executive, allow that wisdom to renew your courage and confidence.

 

 

 

WAYS TO HELP YOURSELF THROUGH GRIEF IN A NEW YEAR

 

As a new year emerges, look over this list of ways people have found useful for dealing with their grief.

 

 

Check the ones which you feel would best help you.

 


Talking with a good friend

 

Exercise

 

Joining a support group.

 

Returning to work
Volunteering
Getting a job -
        even part time
Learning more about grief
Reading inspirational      material
Taking a vacation
Getting a pet
Having a massage
Branching into something    new
Taking a class or workshop
Developing a hobby
Making new friends
More time with people
More time alone
Seeing a counselor
Developing your spiritual side
Updating your job skills
Trying yoga, tai chi, qi gong
Cutting back on alcohol
Returning to school
Practicing meditation
Spending time in nature
Helping someone in a small way
Writing or journaling

Now, take steps to activate the ones you've marked as helpful.  

Also, customize this list by adding  your own ways and means of better dealing with grief.

 

 

TEN THOUGHTS TO KEEP HOPE ALIVE WHILE GRIEVING

 

Hope is the expectation of a positive future.  It's important for any  bereaved person to keep hope alive as they manage their grief.  Here are ten seed thoughts of hope to place into your mind.

 

 

1.  I know my pain will ease.

 

2.  I believe that I can be happy once again.

 


3.  I will find a way through grief.

4.  I will create something meaningful from this loss.

5.  It will take effort to create a new life for myself, but I
     can do it.

6. My loved one would want me to go on with my life.

7. My loved one would not want me to remain stuck in
    grief.

8.  My loved one would want me to make to be happy
     again.

9.  I'm willing to do whatever it takes to adjust and adapt
     to my loss.

10.  Living a new life doesn't mean that I need to forget
       my old life.

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You can further motivate yourself toward hope by thinking about these wisdom sayings:

"The state of your life is nothing more than the state of your mind."
- Wayne Dyer

"Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost."
- Robert H. Schuller

"If you believe you can, you probably can.  If you believe you won't, you most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch which gets you off the launching pad."
- Denis Waitley

"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing."
- Abraham Lincoln

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


 

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In This Issue
LINKS & UPCOMING EVENTS
BEREAVEMENT LESSON FROM A DOG!
WHAT NOT TO SAY

LINKS &
UPCOMING EVENTS
 ________
 

If you're interested in
reading stories from the heart, about people from the area through the eyes of the funeral director, we would encourage you to check out Pam's blog:

 


"Sometimes the loveliness of God's presence comes
 in the midst of pain."
Madeleine L'Engle

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BEREAVEMENT LESSON FROM A . . . DOG!

 

In his book, No Time For Tact, Larry Winget reminds readers to be "good listeners."  His advice is useful for those who wish to be of assistance to grievers:

 

 

"The best friend you will ever have is one who will just listen. By the way, the emphasis is on the word "just". This is why my bulldog, Ralph, is my best friend. No judgment, only a calm acceptance of what I am saying. He doesn't understand a word I'm saying, but he loves me enough to listen.  Be like Ralph!"

 

 

    

WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN  TRYING TO HELP A GRIEVER

 

Resist any temptation to begin a sentence with the words - "At least..."

 

 

"At least you didn't have time to really love the baby."

"At least he's in heaven now."

"At least you have two other children."

"At least it wasn't painful."

"At least she's at peace"

"At least you've had a few good years together."

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WHAT TO SAY WHEN  TRYING TO HELP A GRIEVER

Use sincere, heartfelt expressions of sympathy and support such as:

"I love you."

"I am so sad."

"I grieve with you."

"I will pray for you."

"My thoughts will be with you."

"I can't imagine how hard this is."

"I want to help in any way."

"I am so sorry."

 

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Pamela A. Janssen 
   Marnocha Funeral Home, Ltd. 
(920) 822-3221
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© Rev. Victor M. Parachin, M.Div.