There is an old legend attributed to the Native American tradition. In it a grandfather, who knows his life is ending, asks his grandson to come and visit. Before he dies, the grandfather wishes to impart an important life lesson to his young grandson so he tells him:

"Inside of my heart there are two wolves fighting fiercely. One wolf is deceitful, unkind, fearful, vengeful, envious, resentful. The other wolf is truthful, kind, serene, compassionate, accepting, generous." The grandson asks "which wolf will win the fight?" Grandfather answers: "The one I feed."

The wisdom in that legend is this: whatever we feed and nourish within ourselves is what will grow. This is an important insight for dealing with grief and loss.

Some grievers nourish the negative:

I'll never get over this.

I'll never be the same.

I can't go on.

I can't bear this.

Other grievers-and they are the ones who adjust and adapt- nourish the positive and hopeful:

This is a hard challenge but I will find my way through.

While my life may never be quite the same, it can still be good.

I can stand up to the pressures and persevere.

Today, remind yourself that you have the power to choose "which wolf in your heart will win."

Confident

Adaptable

Persevering

Disciplined

Patient 

                   Relaxed

                                       Enthusiastic

                                                                 Kind

Make your own list of adjectives and work to absorb them into your life.