FAQs about the Grieving Process

Grief is the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual response to the loss of someone important. The terms "sorrow, sadness, heartache" accurately describe the feelings of grief. Any kind of loss can trigger grief including:

· death of a significant person

· end of a relationship

· job loss

· disability

· pet death

· miscarriage

What are the common signs and symptoms of grief?

Many people experience shock, numbness, guilt, regret, anger, sadness, anxiety and fear. At the same time, they may also experience moments of relief, peace, even happiness.

What brings grief relief?

Several things. First, having a good friend or two with whom to share feelings and talk about the loss as much as is necessary for you. Second, establishing a routine of self-care which means: proper nutrition, proper exercise, proper rest. Third, gaining proper information by reading books and magazine articles about the grief process.

How long will it take to adjust?

This differs from person to person. Some people make a healthy adjustment in 12-16 months. More take longer, usually 2 - 4 years. And still some people find the pain of loss lingers into the fifth year. There is no timetable for recovery. The key is to be patient with yourself.

Do grief support groups help?

The majority of grievers who attend such a self-help group speak enthusiastically about their help. There are several reasons that a group is beneficial: a) you are in the presence of people who truly know how you feel; b) you are in the presence of people who may be further along in the process and can be role models of recovery; c) you are in the presence of people who pool their experiences and insights to assist others on the journey.

When is professional help necessary?

Most grievers can get by without the aid of a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. However, some people feel "stuck" in their grieving process and are unable to move forward. In such cases, professional intervention can be most helpful. Here are some ways this process is beneficial:

• Helping the bereaved to accept the loss by encouraging  him or her to talk about the loss.
• The bereaved is helped to identify and express feelings related to loss such as anger, guilt, helplessness and ongoing sadness.
• The bereaved is helped to live without the person who died and learn to make decisions alone.
• The bereaved is helped to separate emotionally from the deceased and to begin establishing a new identity and life.
• The bereaved is given on-going support during a difficult time.
• The bereaved is provided with grief information.
• The bereaved is helped to understand his or her methods of coping.
• The bereaved is helped to identify issues which hold him or her back and ways of overcoming those issues.