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Courtesy of Marnocha Funeral Home
Dear Friends,
 Akbar the Great (1542 - 1605) ruled a vast area over what is now India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Bangladesh. His reign was just and tolerant, resulting in a time of great prosperity to all. He was a highly respected ruler. One of his advisers was a gifted and wise man named Birbal. Wanting to be the best possible ruler he could be, Akbar asked Birbal: "What words can you give me which will guide me in times of feast and times of famine, in times of wealth and poverty, in times of happiness and sorrow? What wise words can you offer me which will never fail me and stand the test of time forever?" Birbal responded promptly saying: "Your Highness must always say to himself - this too shall pass." The reason Birbal offered that saying is this: Life has a way of tossing us between pain and pleasure. The way to remain balanced lies in repeating those four words to ourselves: this too shall pass. Those words would help Akbar -and can help each of us today- temper pleasure and endure pain. They are a simple yet profound reminder that nothing stays the same for very long. Birbal's wisdom applies as much today as it did in the past. Right now, if your grief is fresh and raw, try offering yourself that gentle reminder: This too shall pass. It may take a while for the pain to ease, but it will pass and life will feel better and balanced again. |
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WAYS RELIGION MAY HELP WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE LOSS
 A man whose wife died, candidly says that faith was not a significant part of his life. However, after his wife's death, he began participating with a faith community and found it helpful as he dealt with his grief. He says:
"I had regarded religion in time of crisis as just another prescription for crutches. I surprised myself at just how comfortably I used those crutches. Surrounded by other worshipers at a service, reciting traditional prayers, or singing in unison, it was comforting to find that when my faith was running low, I could turn to another faith which had stood the test of thousands of years. If that faith and the people who trusted in it had survived, then so would I."
Healthy religious faith can be a valuable asset to the bereaved. Here are some ways religion helps with grieving.
Religion provides hope. When there's been a death, despair over life can emerge. Balancing that is religious faith which teaches that there is meaning to be found in pain and loss.
Religion provides comfort. Though grievers experience a significant loss, religious faith reminds them they are not left entirely alone. They are encouraged to tap into a higher power which can guide and strengthen them day by day.
Religion provides community. Whether a person is Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Islamic or Hindu, religion comes with community, which is there to provide support.
Religion provides resources such as prayer, meditation, spiritual study and inspirational reading. These are tools which are effective in shaping and managing the journey through grief.
Religion provides rituals to heal. These begin at the time of death when a spiritual leader is present to help with a funeral service. Specific prayers are offered, scriptures are read, a eulogy or sermon is delivered.
Religion provides social opportunities. There is a natural tendency for grievers to withdraw, even isolate themselves because of the pain. Religion offsets those tendencies by offering weekly opportunities to meet with others in worship, small group study, prayer meetings, choir participation.
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LINKS &
UPCOMING EVENTS
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Pulaski Area Bereavement Group
"Sometimes the loveliness of God's presence comes
in the midst of pain."
Madeleine L'Engle |
HELPING A GRIEVING
MOM ON MOTHER'S DAY
Here are some helpful ways of reaching out to a mother
grieving the loss of a child on Mother's Day.
· Acknowledge her motherhood. Send a mother's day card letting
her know you are remembering her.
· Use the child's name when speaking with the mother.
· Plant a tree or shrub in memory of the one who died. Let
the mother know this is your living memorial.
· Offer to visit the grave with the mother.
· Promote self-care. Encourage the mother to take care of
herself. Consider buying an hour of massage, or a block of yoga classes spread
over a week or a month.
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What to do when "all of a sudden it hits me and I get sad"
That very question is addressed by Dr. Marilyn E. Gootman in her fine book, When A Friend Dies. Though it is written for grieving teens, her advice is applicable to anyone who experiences a sudden bout of sadness over a loss.
1. Practice ways to relax. Do some deep breathing or stretching exercises.
2. Learn how to meditate.
3. Replace unpleasant, frightening thoughts or images with positive ones.
4. Get some exercise every day.
5. Talk with an adult you trust.
6. When nothing seems to work, it may be time to speak with a counselor trained in grief issues.
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