Dear Friends,

Two boys were inseparable best friends throughout their school years, each with a dream of becoming a doctor.

Upon graduating from high school, they embraced and parted. One boy came from a prosperous family who were able to send him to the University of California for pre-med studies. The other youth came from a very low income family who needed his financial support. As a result, after graduation he took a job, and abandonded his dream of becoming a medical doctor.

Then, World War II began. The pre-med student entered the Army Air Corp. The other went to work in a vital war industry. As the war raged on, the flier's mother received a telegram informing her that her son's plane had been shot down. Her only son was dead.

The ensuing grief was almost unbearable. Nothing brought her comfort or relief until an idea began to churn in her mind. After   thinking about it for several weeks, she wrote the following letter to her son's boyhood best friend:

"Dear Joe,
By now, you must have heard of Arthur's death in action. I remember you when you were playing together and, I remember how fond you were of each other. Now he is gone, living only in the hearts of those who loved him.

But I have thought of a way in which he can live on in another sense, a broader, more unselfish sense. Like him, you wanted to be a doctor, to ease human pain and suffering. But your family needed your help, so you did the only thing you could do at the time. But now you are more free.

If you are still interested in becoming a physician, I want you to be one. I want you to take Arthur's place at the university. Nothing would make me happier than to pay your way, every bit of it, and thus do for Arthur's best friend what I had hoped to do for him."

That story is related by Rabbi William B. Silverman and psychologist Kenneth Cinnamon in their book "When Mourning Comes." It is an inspiring reminder that we can honor a deceased loved one by creating memorials which benefit others.

Of course, doing this does not have to be putting someone through medical school (though if you have the means, it is a wonderful gesture). There are many options from which families can choose to memorialize one who has passed that require little or no money.

For example:

• Donate books - especially the type enjoyed by your loved one - to a library.
• Donate a memorial bench to a favorite park.
• Give an award or trophy in your loved one's memory to a sport event or music festival.
•  If the deceased loved animals, send financial support to an animal shelter.
• Donate your time to a charity favored by your loved one.

Rabbi Silverman and Dr. Cinnamon say: "Every act of kindness on behalf of some human being, every deed of service to those in need, every dollar contributed to a worthy cause on behalf of the poor, the sick, and the deprived, is a memorial to our departed, and one that moves, walks, breathes and lives."