Greetings!
 With the fall semester of college beginning in the next few weeks families are experiencing transitions yet again. This is a time when we tend to focus on the needs of our student: buying, doing, preparing for his or her departure. If your student is returning to college take a moment to think about what you might want to do differently this time around, and if you and your student are new to this transition consider talking to other families and learning from their successes and mistakes. Here are some words of wisdom from a few of my clients:- "Don't save big conversations for the week or so leading up to your student's departure -- have these conversations earlier to allow for differences and emotions to be expressed."
- "Recognize that, as prepared as everyone is, there will ALWAYS be last minute trips to the store."
- "Instead of buying and then packing lots of new things, consider shopping for items sometime after your student checks-in at the college - it can be a good way to see the local area."
- "Write a letter to your student before he or she leaves and share the ways that you see him or her as being competent. Be specific and mention particular situations and outcomes of good decisions, problem solving, resourcefulness."
- "Ask your student about the degree of involvement he or she sees you having during move-in day. The needs can be different from year-to-year."
Even when this is a familiar transition some degree of stress is inevitable, but with a little forethought the potential for tension can be reduced. Then it is up to everyone involved to ask, "Is what I am doing or how I am acting contributing in a positive way to this transition?"
Enjoy this month's article:
Arriving at College - A Family Affair
All the best in your parenting,
-Kay
Kay Kimball Gruder Follow me on Twitter @KKimballGruder or http://twitter.com/KKimballGruder |
expression "The more the merrier" is not always experienced in quite this way by the student. One sophomore shared with me that having five family members join her was rather like having to corral wild horses. Each family member had different needs at different times, arguments ensued, one family member would suggest one thing and another would think something else -- and the student expressed that her return to college was incredibly disjointed and stressful. She said, "Quite honestly I didn't know if they were there to help me or I was there to help them!" 