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| February 2012 Newsletter | SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com |
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Successful College Parenting Strategies
When you are more successful in your parenting your student is more successful in gaining skills for life! TM
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 Greetings!
When I tell people about the work I do they usually respond in one of two ways...
"Wow, you must really love what you do."
or
"I can imagine there must be a real need out there for what you do."
Both are true -- and in the spirit of this month's parenting article, "Do What You Love", I thought I would share a bit about what I love in my current work.
Most parents whom I encounter parent the way they parent, because that's simply how they do it. For some it has been mostly enjoyable and for others it has been mostly a struggle, but through it all they want to see their children succeed -- in all the ways that they might define that. During the high school and college years family relationships are in constant transition -- and parents often encounter new heights of concern, worry and frustration as they parent their sons and daughters. Some of the parenting approaches that they have used in the past are no longer working and they find themselves wondering what else they might try or do. At the moment when parents feel the most stuck in what's not working -- I feel the most engaged and energized. I absolutely love my work as a parent coach, helping parents to expand perspectives and strategies to navigate family challenges, to facilitate communication, to reduce stress and to focus actions and interactions toward cultivating their student's development toward greater independence. Problems and difficult situations change not because I fix them, but because during coaching we look at what is working and share a desire to change what isn't working. Through coaching parents gain new skills, strategies, and perspectives to more effectively parent through the common and not so common twists and turns of having a student in high school and then college.
Read this month's parenting article, "Do What You Love" to gain tips and approaches to support your student in his or her pursuit of what he or she loves most to do.
All the best, -Kay Kay Kimball Gruder Follow me on Twitter @KKimballGruder or http://twitter.com/KKimballGruder |
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| Recommended Reading from the
Successful College Parenting Archive
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Follow Kay on Twitter
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@KKimballGruder
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| Communication Central - It is sometimes a one way street |
 A parent recently asked me, "Should I
continue communicating with my son if he isn't replying?"
I was curious about the nature of her communication and wanted to first check if it was of the nagging sort, because if it was I would expect that her son would choose to simply ignore it. We often communicate with our student when we have a free minute to send a text, to make a quick call or to write an email. Our communication arrives, but most of the time I can guarantee that our student is involved in doing something -- hanging out with friends, in a class, at practice, studying, etc., that actually is or seems more important at the moment than taking time to respond. Then our student is on to a million different other things and our communication gets drowned in the next several hundred messages that make up the rest of our student's day.
I encourage parents to remain in contact with their student -- if only to send a quick text that says, "I know you have your exam today -- good luck," or to share a funny picture of the dog, or to provide an update about something positive going on. College students have shared, during the panels that I have facilitated, that their lack of response doesn't mean that they don't enjoy hearing from you. When the communication is non-judgmental, supportive, and perhaps of genuine interest to the student -- and is not done to monitor or control -- it keeps the lines of communication open for when your student does desire to connect. |
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Did You Know... Reasons that students cite for attending college
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 "In 2011 85.9% of incoming students report that entering
college "to be able to get a better job" is "very important" in their decision-making. It continues as the number one reason to attend college, but until 2006, before
the current recession, "To learn more about things that
interest me" held the top position. "To get training for
a specific career" remains steady as the third most
important reason to attend college."
As you might imagine, students studying different majors also share different reasons for attending college. Read the American Freshman National Norms Fall 2011 research brief.
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As always, enjoy this month's newsletter and please email me with topics you'd like to learn more about. SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com is your resource for enhancing your young adult's college experience and reducing your stress. Visit the website to read this month's article and to access the archive of articles.
Sincerely,
Successful College Parenting Strategies Newsletter Copyright © 2012 by Kay Kimball Gruder
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