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Greetings!
The dandelion heralds spring and the bright yellow flowers
prompt many different reactions. Young children delight in picking the flowers and in making mini-bouquets. Some who see the dandelion know its leaves are added to $15 salads in upscale restaurants and others know it best for its medicinal uses. Many simply see the dandelion as a nuisance -- a battle to be won.
So I hope you are asking, "What does this have to do with parenting?"
The various reactions to the dandelion are shaped by many factors, but largely by one's extent of knowledge and then also by the experiences that one has had related to the pretty spring flower - or is it a weed?
Our reactions to our college student are also shaped by the knowledge and information we have, and by the negative or positive experiences we have had related to the situations that our student experiences. When we learn our son or daughter did poorly in a class we might assume that he or she didn't work hard enough, but with more information we learn that even getting a "C" was an accomplishment. Or hearing our student's academic saga might cause us to recall a similar struggle, bringing us back to the frustration that we once experienced and compromising our ability to effectively guide our student.
Consider asking yourself these 5 questions when you want to contribute the best of what you have to offer:
1. What factors are contributing to the way I am responding or reacting to my son or daughter?
2. What else do I need to know?
3. What frame of mind do I really want to have when I discuss or approach this situation?
4. How might someone else choose to view it?
5. With what do I really want my son or daughter to walk away -- hurt feelings or useful options?
It is through the awareness of our own reactions that we can offer some of our best parenting.
All the best in your parenting,
-Kay
Additionally, enjoy reading this month's article, Asking Questions - Getting Answers
Kay Kimball Gruder
Find me on Twitter @KKimballGruder or http://twitter.com/KKimballGruder . | 
We have asked our children countless questions over the years and as our children pass into and beyond their teen years our questions are often met with shorter responses, avoidance, and a vagueness that leaves us hanging onto every word to find out what is "really" going on. This pattern occurs as part of a child's normal development toward adulthood, but we have a role to consider as well. 
