|
|
| October 2010 Newsletter | SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com |
|
|
|
|
Successful College Parenting Strategies |
|
|
|
| Greetings! |
Chances are your student has been at college for at least one month, and you have probably parented through a few ups and downs. Take a couple of moments to inventory all that seems to be going well for your student and all that seems to be challenging -- and remember, the challenges often provide your student with opportunities for personal development.
When speaking with your student, intentionally reinforce one or more positive actions or behaviors about which you become aware during your conversation. Simple responses (even in writing) can help your student see what he or she is doing well and which actions are getting good results. Comments might sound something like...
"That was a really good idea to go to your professor to find out a bit more about the test -- you're correct to think that it is easier to do better when you know what to expect."
When your student begins to talk about challenges, remind your student of other times that he or she has successfully handled tough situations -- cite specific examples and help your student to think about the problem solving and coping skills that he or she has utilized in the past. If your student seems at a loss for how best to handle something, then offer to brainstorm -- engaging your student in the opportunity to think together about an array of solutions or next steps. Initiating this conversation might sound something like ....
"Let's think together about what advice you might give to a friend in a similar situation."
or
"Let's look at the college's website and see if we can find an office or individual that might be of help to you -- then you can e-mail him or her and see what they might recommend."
As you take the time to look at what seems to be working and what doesn't, consider finding something to celebrate with your student. Maybe send a batch of favorite cookies or write a note and share how wonderful it has been to watch him or her settle-in to college or to get involved in campus leadership, etc. Don't push to make something up, but when you have one of those genuine "I am a proud parent" moments, this is usally a good indication that there is something that you can celebrate about your student's development.
"Celebrate what you want to see more of."
- Thomas J. Peters
All the best in your parenting,
|
| Don't You Trust Me? |
Trust is earned and it is a basic building block of our interpersonal relationships - and this is certainly true in our family interactions. When a student goes to college, parents are often faced with exploring whether or not they trust their child to make good decisions and to stay safe. In my parent coaching practice I often hear parents expressing things like, "I trust my student to go to class, but I don't trust him when it comes to under-age drinking." Or, "I have handled so many things for my daughter that I don't necessarily trust her to make the best decisions."
When we think about trusting our student we are really asking the following:
Can I trust that you are going to be where you say you are going to be?
Can I trust that you are telling me the truth so that I have all the facts and can effectively guide you?
Can I trust that you are going to be doing what you say you are going to be doing?
Can I trust that you are making good decisions about your academics, co-curricular activities, and personal safety?
Click here to read the full article and to gain strategies about interacting with your student around the issue of trust. |
|
 |
|
October Webinar Offerings |
Webinars are $35.00/registrant(Your spouse or parenting partner attend for free.)
October Webinars Include:
Navigating the Holidays: Tips, Tricks, and Traps
Communicate,Coach,Connect: Strategies for Guiding Your Student
Contact Kay for customized webinars. Get 10 registrants and your registration is free! |
|
Kay's News |
(New Webinar)
Co-Presenter & Developer with Marty Bledsoe, Carroll University: What To Do When They're 1-month Through
National Conference Proposal Reviewer,
American College Personnel
Association: Commission on Wellness, Commission on Administrative Leadership,
Commission of Academic Affairs
Read more parenting articles at my Expert page on the College Parent Magazine website.
Latest Article at College Parent Magazine:
Navigating Parent/Family
Weekend
|
|
|
| Communication Central - Help Your Student Shine |  Students desperately need help learning how to verbalize their strengths and competencies with confidence. This is increasingly important when they seek campus leadership positions, apply for summer internships or jobs, approach faculty about joining research teams, etc.
What does this have to do with parenting? Create opportunities, through conversation, for your student to talk about his or her strengths. In doing so, you are helping your student to convey a stronger and more marketable professional image.
Resume Activity: Encourage your student to update or create a resume. It is not uncommon for the more competitive summer jobs and summer internships to have late-fall or early-winter application deadlines -- and a resume is typically included. In my experience as an advisor, students often forget which summers they had which jobs and even what their primary responsibilities were. You can help your student to tease out a few of their key responsibilities or accomplishments for each relevant position that they include. Recommend that your student access the campus career office to learn more about the resume formats that they feel work best in today's employment market. Resist giving resume layout advice and focus more on helping your student to recall important content.
Help Your Student To Express His or Her Skills: Don't wait until senior year to engage your student in conversations about all that he or she is gaining from summer jobs, internships, community involvement, campus leadership, athletic involvement, and academic coursework. Refrain from only saying, "You're so good at ..." but instead isolate and talk about the skills you see your student using. Skills might include research, interpersonal, writing, problem solving, customer relations, marketing, promotional, project management, etc. This is the language that future employers and internship sponsors speak. In general, most of us are pretty modest -- and for the majority of students it feels odd to talk about one's skills and strengths. You can guide your student in how best to promote his or her skills and achievements by helping your student to consider concrete examples from his or her experiences and academic training. Without opportunities to become comfortable talking about one's strengths and competencies, a student might only say, "I am creative." Your student needs to become adept at saying things like, "I learned to be creative, because during my summer job as a .... I had to ....." You can help your student to make a connection between the skills gained and how they were developed. Self-promotion takes practice, and it is this depth of communication that will set your student apart from the masses. |
| Did you know... Students Find Conducting Research Frustrating | |
The top five most frequently mentioned frustrations that students experienced when conducting course-related research were:
· Information overload i.e., the more you know, the less you know - it's depressing.
· Too much irrelevant information, can't locate what is needed from online results.
· Beginning and getting started on an assignment.
· Trying to find the "perfect source."
· Not knowing what to look for, yet still sifting through articles that might fit.
Project Information Literacy Progress Report
FEBRUARY 4, 2009, by Alison J. Head, Ph.D. and Michael B. Eisenber, Ph.D.
|
|
|
|
Enjoy this month's newsletter and please feel free to email me with topics you'd like to learn more about. SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com is your resource for enhancing your child's college experience. Visit the website to read this month's article and access the archive.
|
|
|
|
|
|
