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| January 2010 Newsletter |
SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com |
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Successful College Parenting Strategies |
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| Greetings! |
 In Roman mythology the god of beginnings and endings is called Janus, and it is the month of January that reflects his name. He is depicted with two faces, one looking forward and one looking backward, possessing the ability to see into the past and gaze into the future.
We each possess this ability, to look at what has been and to direct our vision toward where we would like to go. Often the emergence of a new year provides opportunity to recognize habits or patterns that we would like to change, and we focus our energy during the coming months on the steps we need to take to make the changes we seek.
Around this time of year we hear people say that they would like to: lose weight; eat better; stop smoking; regulate their work schedule; eat dinner more often as a family; exercise more; use credit cards less; spend more time doing something they enjoy, etc.
In this month of beginnings, consider looking at your parenting as Janus might.
1. In what ways have you parented particularly well this past year?
2. Around what situations would you like to parent better or differently this coming year?
3. Is it time to parent your child more or to parent your child less?
4. Where are you least satisfied in your parenting?
5. When do you feel the best about your parenting?
The parenting you do each and every day is part of your child's link to the past and bridge to the future. Give your parenting the attention it deserves, look back, focus foward, and be aware that your parenting skills and habits likely extend far beyond this generation, laying the foundation for how your child will parent if he or she chooses to do so in the future.
"Parents are like shuttles on a loom. They join the threads of the past with threads of the future and leave their own bright patterns as they go."
-Fred Rogers-
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| Parenting "the Right Way" |
 We all experience those moments, especially when going through a challenging time, where we wonder how our parenting measures up. My clients frequently ask me if they are parenting "the right way", and I often respond by saying, "there are many right ways." This month's article identifies some of the characteristics and behaviors that are common to parents who generally feel positive about their parenting skills and effort, and invites you to take time to think about your parenting patterns and habits.
"If we always do what we've always done, we will get what we've always got." -Adam Urbanski
Click to continue reading and to learn characteristics and behaviors that are common to parents who generally feel positive about their parenting skills and effort. |
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 WEBINARS ARE HERE! |
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Winter Webinar Schedule & Registration are now posted.
View workshops and register to attend sessions.
First workshop is Jan. 17th. |
| Kay's News |
Book Review: College Of The Overwhelmed: The campus mental health crisis and what to do about it, by Richard Kadison, M.D. and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo
Consider a Parenting Check-up to periodically discuss your parenting approach, explore new strategies, and affirm your parenting choices. Learn more here
Jewish Family Services, Hartford, CT |
| Quick Links |
SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com
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| Communication Central - Fresh Start |
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 Whether your children are in high school or in college, many students make resolutions for the new year or set goals for the upcoming academic semester or marking period. It can be a relief for students to have a chance to start the next academic term with a clean slate and with hope that this semester will be better than the last.
Chances are, if your student had some challenges during the past term, much attention has already been given to what went wrong. As the new semester begins consider consciously shifting your parenting to focus your student toward all that can go well during the next few months; each semester holds the opportunity for new successes for your son or daughter. Invite your child to share the goals he or she has for the coming year or academic term and help your child to outline tangible steps with a possible "plan A" and "plan B". It is rare that goals are met if one only verbalizes them, but more likely they will be accomplished if there is some assemblance of a plan.
Consider asking your child:
- What do you hope to continue to do well this next semester?
- What would you like to do better?
- What resources or tools do you need to access to do as well as you can?
- What are your greatest obstacles in reaching your goals?
- In what ways can I be a resource or support to you?
- Who else within your school or college can help you to accomplish your goals?
People who do not have goals and plans usually accomplish far less in life and live with greater uncertainty and stress than people who at least set goals and try to achieve them.
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| Did you know... Common New Year's Resolutions For Students |
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 Some of the more common goals or resolutions that students have for the new academic term are:
- getting better grades;
- partying less;
- getting out of the dorm more;
- finding a summer or post-graduation job;
- waking up earlier;
- working out more or losing weight;
- organizing schedule better;
- not waiting until the last minute to do assignments.
(Compiled from advising conversations that I have had during the past 22 years)
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Enjoy this month's newsletter and please feel free to e-mail me with topics you'd like to learn more about. SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com is your resource for enhancing your child's college experience. Visit the website to read this month's article and access the archive.
Kay Kimball Gruder, M.Ed., Parent Coaching Institute™ Certified Parent Coach®
Successful College Parenting Strategies Newsletter Copyright © 2009 by Kay Kimball Gruder, SuccessfulCollegeParenting.com
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