As your children spend more time away from home you will want to check-in without having your children feel constantly checked-on. This can be a fine line, but you likely have a good sense of what degree of checking in is necessary.

 

By creating a regular time to connect you will create space for your children to take more and more initiative in their actions and decisions. One student told me that her dad called so many times during the day that she found it disruptive and that his calls made it difficult to fully focus on her schoolwork. When she didn't answer the phone she felt like her dad would be disappointed, and when she did answer the phone she found herself reassuring her dad that she was doing okay on that particular day.

 

Consider using a few different strategies to expand or limit your communication. A friend once shared her secret of talking with her teens during evening drives in the car. A parent at one of my workshops shared how she actually stopped using her cell phone for a week in order to limit her desire to call her daughter when she had a moment here or there. Another parent suggested sending an e-mail instead of using instant messaging, and at a recent workshop I facilitated college students shared that they actually love to get "snail mail".

 

So whether your children are at home this summer or venturing off to new places, establish a regular time to communicate. Over time, you might even find that your children have more to share and say.