"...Manner is personality-the outward manifestation of one's innate character and attitude toward life." Emily Post, 1922 

Yesterday, a director of sales and marketing told me that her team was given a mandate by her corporate headquarters to take etiquette training. Corporate's goal was to ensure an understanding of basic manners, such as how to properly shake hands, and the order in which to use forks at a fancy meal. I agree these skills are important because they help others feel more comfortable around you. 

But what about digital manners? With round-the-clock deadlines, how can one continue to be proactive, while still showing respect to those around us?

Here are seven (7) tips of good digital etiquette:

1. Be proactive. You're having dinner with a client but have been waiting for an important message. Don't check your phone continuously while dining. Respect the other person by simply telling them the situation! Then....

2. Ask for permission. Say something like, "I have been waiting for a call-back this afternoon. Would it be okay if I check my phone and send a quick text in response?" Most people will understand and won't mind at all when that important message comes through. (Most likely, they'll use the opportunity to check their own messages!)

3. Excuse yourself. If you receive that important phone call, excuse yourself from the table to take the call. No one wants to hear your business.

4. Say thank you! After the text message or phone call is completed, show them your gratitude, thank them, and then turn your phone off (or at least set on silent/vibrate). 

5. Public areas. If you can't excuse yourself (for example, if you're sitting in an airplane waiting for the doors to close, or you're riding another mode of public transportation), lower your voice, or put your hand over your mouth to at least indicate that you know how annoying you're being. Or, call back when you aren't in public, and you can talk at whatever level you'd like.

6. Avoid being sneaky. Hiding your phone under the table doesn't fool anyone. If you're supposed to be paying attention to something else and you're texting or emailing, you're being rude. If it's a critical message, see #1. Keep your hands above the table and respond. Then, see #3.

7. Check your addiction. Being responsive is important; but, do you need to check your phone every 30 seconds? Incessantly checking for incoming messages is either a sign of an addiction or poor self-esteem (Am I still important? Does anyone care what I think?).  If you're alone when you do this, so be it. When others are involved, it's just rude.

Emily Post had it right when she said that good manners are like "an association of gentle-folk, of which good form in speech, charm of manner, knowledge of the social amenities, and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others, are the credentials by which society the world over recognizes its chosen members."

More than knowing which fork to use, when you help others feel comfortable in your presence by showing them respect, they will like you better. That's smart business.

Sue Hershkowitz-Coore is NYPCMA's featured speaker, June 14! Just back from speaking in Hong Kong, Melbourne and Auckland, SpeakerSue is known for her energy and practical content. Invite your entire decision-making committee to this special meeting, so you can all experience SpeakerSue live! Follow her on Twitter and watch for the exciting re-launch of Power Sales Writing (McGraw Hill) in late August! Contact Sue's office directly at +1480-575-9711 to schedule Sue to speak at your next meeting.