Bin There, Recycled That - August 2010  
(If stress is garbage, I've...)
Bin There, Recycled That!
Non-toxic tips to recycle your stress, reduce negativity, and repurpose your life.
Today's writing tip: when writing a business letter, or other professional communication, always conclude with a strong "action statement" that shows you mean business.
Example: Wrong:  "Sincerely"    Right: "I will play tetherball with your spleen."
-Dave Barry 
Being a low-maintenance woman requires resourcefulness...
I always wondered what the "Beyond" meant in Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Now I know. It's for the consumer like me who uses non-personal products for personal use. It happened at the end of Summer, as I got ready to attend a funeral visitation. After a quick shower, I applied face cream given to me by a dermatologist. I threw on my clothes, and headed for the funeral home. I kept smelling suntan lotion. But I had showered and was clean from head to toe! I couldn't imagine why I smelled like sun stuff. Then I remembered the face cream was infused with 60 SPF. 60 SPF at 6:00 p.m. is an oxymoron to me. I had no idea it would smell so strong and felt that I could not go through the visitation line this way, knowing I would be hugging some of the family. I was horrified that they would think I was so lazy, I would have gone from pool to parlor. I parked and searched my purse for an antidote. The only thing I could come up with was a purse-size spray of room freshener from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. French Vanilla. Room freshener? I threw it back into the purse. I dug it out again. Clearly, I had no other options. Better to smell like an ice cream cone than a sun goddess. I sprayed it on my neck - both sides - and on my wrists, just like Chanel, and went to greet the family. Had I reached a new low? Or a new high - of resourcefulness? Or, as we say in the laughter biz...a new "ha!" 

De-stressor tip: When faced with an obstacle, try moving past your panic and into your resources. More often than not, you will find an acceptable solution. Unless you dare to share, of course, nobody else will even know something was wrong in your world.  On the other hand, why not share it? You may give some other stinky soul a suggestion in a tight spot.  I love being imperfect. Life is so much more adventuresome!

Male Vs Female Reaction: when the kids get hurt

Our son, Nick, called Monday night and asked for his dad. We were already asleep, but I sensed his urgency, so I didn't go into my "How was your day?" approach. All I could hear was Jeff's side of the conversation: "How bad is it?" (OMG...the car again...?) Then, "Take a shower, get the blood off, have one of your buddies cut the hair away from it, and then pull it together with a butterfly bandage. It's gonna swell, so, put a bag of ice on it, and tie it with a sock to the top of your head. (?) If it won't stop bleeding, you'll have to do something else." Meanwhile, I am hyperventilating, because I don't know what is bleeding or broken on my boy. Jeff hung up and rolled over to resume his sleep.

"WHAT HAPPENED????" I demanded.
 "He cut his head playing football." 
"No helmet?"
"It's flag. They don't wear helmets."
"What did he hit?"
"I don't know, probably a rusty, metal, post on the field," he smiled. I pulled the sheets over my head and texted Nick to get more information.
Me: "Did it stop bleeding? If not, go to ER asap!
Nick: "It stopped."
Me: "What did you hit?"
Nick: "A head."

Later he called and woke me up again,
"What insurance card do I take with me?"
"Oh good," I said, with relief, "You're going to ER."
"Yeah, do you want me to call you later?"
"Absolutely! Do you have a ride?"
"Yes, a whole bunch of us are going."
(Anything for an adventure in college!)
We texted several more times when he got to registration at the hospital, waking me up each time.
Nick: "What's Dick's last name?"
Me:    "McKinney?.....why?" (Dick McKinney is our company custodian/courier. I thought maybe had run into him in ER, even though Dick lives 3 hours away, like us.)
Nick: "No, Dick, my Doc."
Me:    "Oh! Sorry! Dr. Schlepporst."  I started laughing to think I gave him the custodian's name when he needed his doctor's name. So I'm a bit foggy when woken up, what can I say? Jeff left the bedroom due to the beeping, texting, and laughing. I received one more text: a photo of his head with five (5!) staples in it. Apparently, they don't stitch scalps these days. It gave me the shivers. Bottom line: the injury had been properly treated. I realized I had forgotten to ask Nick if they won the game. I still wish they'd wear helmets. Or at least a mouth guard. Next time, I will handle the phone call!
Bobbe's Book Bin:

Funny notice I spotted at TGIF's bar:

Bar Phone Fees
$1:  "Not here"
$2: "On his way out"
$3: "Just left"
$4: "Haven't seen him all day"
$5: "Who???"
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Uplift your own self with this simple tip... 

Feeling defeated and overwhelmed because your "to do" list will NEVER be "to done"? Try making your bed for a few days. Then, when things pile up and you feel like you haven't accomplished a single thing, you can always come back to this truth:

 "Hey, at LEAST I made my bed!"  
See? You HAVE accomplished one thing.  Uplift your own self instead of knocking yourself down. It's all about the power of positivity! Power up, my friends.
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Bobbe White
Try Laughter! Inc.