In Roshi's words...

 
          During the time of the historical Buddha, Indian thought was that all things are illusion. This idea carried over into Buddhism, but in an entirely different form. At the time of the Buddha's enlightenment, he realized that there was an intrinsic and true self, underlying the perception of who we think we are.  This true self is the Buddha nature that we all have. It is unchangeable and pure. To know this true self is to be enlightened, for we then know our true nature.    

          Since we all have this true (Buddha) nature, why must we do anything to become awakened? This is the question that the great Zen Master Dogen asked himself while studying the teachings of the Buddhist schools of his day. Because this seemed a paradox to him, he went from Japan to China to study and solve his paradox through the practice of meditation under a true Zen master.

         One night, as Dogen sat in meditation, his master announced to the assembled monks that their body and mind must fall away if they were to know their true nature. At that moment, Dogen's body and mind fell away. His preoccupation with physical needs disappeared; his sense of who he was (Dogen, the truth-seeking monk from Japan) evaporated. What was left was the essential Dogen: the Dogen beyond concepts and sensation.  His Buddha nature was manifested without hindrance.
         Why don't we know ourselves as Dogen did? Western psychology purports to give us insight into ourselves, but do we know ourselves? What we learn from western psychology is how to classify our variety of suffering and discontent. If we do well, we learn how to blame others (our parent or society) for our failures. *         

         Throughout our struggle to find ourselves, we never do. The true self is quite lost by the time we arrive at adulthood. Once we learn the vocabulary of blaming our life on others, it is buried under layers of concepts, excuses and jargon. By this time we have accepted and integrated a number of fantasies into our personal notion of who we are; we have tried to be that person our parents, teachers, friends and heroes want us to be. Upon employment, we start adapting to what we should be to match our vocation. If we have been in the military service, more modification takes place. And within this miasma there may also be a private idea as to who we should be. Is this who we are? Not really.
         Under the many layers of who we think we are or who we want to be, is the true self. The true self needs no justification, nor does it need to be defended or protected. When we become angry because someone says something about our character, it is because our fantasy self is threatened. When we do not receive a promotion, our self image (not the same as true self) is slighted. When we do not live up to the expectations of others - or ourselves - we suffer, because our expectations are for our imagined self, not the true self.
         To know the self, we must study the self. The seventh aspect of the Eight- fold Path is mindfulness. When mindfulness is turned inward, we begin to understand ourselves. When we become angry, we can begin to see the source of the anger within us. If we imagine that the anger comes from outside us, we are not truly looking within.
        If someone says something hurtful to us, it makes them a hurtful person; it does not make them the source of our anger. We, and only we, are the source. We are the source of our joy, our sorrow and our anger. Only when we accept the notion - the illusion - of what others think we are, can we then feel hurt or angered by what people say.
         When we are disappointed at the outcome of some venture, if we practice mindfulness, we come to understand that the process and the results are different. We may have been engaged in the process, often to a point of joy. The process of learning to play a song on the guitar is engaging, enjoyable and satisfying. It is only when we compare our performance to that of another guitar player (often a professional) that we become discouraged and disheartened. Our reality is the joy of learning, of playing, and sometimes of sharing. It is only when we compare our performance to our expected performance that discontent sets in. The joy is in the doing, not in what we think the outcome should be.
          Life is much like learning to play a tune on the guitar, if we have a preset idea or illusion of who we are or what is supposed to happen, we will never be happy. Conversely if we have no expectations - other than being allowed to participate - all results (even the bad ones) are blessings.