Five Things to Say to a Victim
One of my all time favorites to use in training is Five Things to Say to a
Victim.
"I'm afraid for your safety."
"I'm afraid for the safety of your children."
"It will only get worse."
"I'm here for you."
"You don't deserve to be abused."
Two long-time
friends shared them with me when they worked in Quincy, MA., Sarah M. Buel, JD, as a prosecutor and Andrew R. Klein, PhD,
in the probation department.These simple messages are so useful because when asked
victims, going through the Quincy
court process, identified people who said things which helped them believe that
professionals cared and systems responded. Victims remembered exactly who said it, and
sometimes even pulled out a raggedy business card, indicating that this
particular person's words were meaningful and had made a difference!
In talking with women and others who've been abused, one
message stands out as the most powerful:
"You don't deserve to be abused."
Victims struggle with the idea that something they've said or done
causes the abuse. If we can change one thing for them it is to
quickly eliminate the notion that they caused the abuse. It is critical to say the person using
violence is responsible for it, NOT the victim.
I hope you will find these five messages useful in your training and public education efforts.
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The new documentary, Private Violence, features Debby Tucker, Executive Director of the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence. Of the film, activist-author Gloria Steinem says, "I remember in the late sixties and
early seventies when we didn't even have a word for battered women or
domestic violence, it was just called life. Private Violence is the
best film I've ever seen on domestic violence."
A 21-minute version of Private Violence is now available and fundraising efforts are underway to produce the feature length version. This short version of the film is available for a contribution of $50.
Private Violence draws from more than 150 hours of interviews with domestic violence survivors and advocates, pioneering activists, and vocal allies of the movement. According to Kit Gruelle, Senior Producer, "The film represents a comprehensive outreach effort to end the recurring cycle of domestic abuse. It connects the dots between violence in the home and other serious social problems -- gangs, drugs, teenage runaways, high school drops outs, and bullying behavior." More...
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5 Reasons to Make the National Center's Website Work for You
1) More than 31 million visitors use www.ncdsv.org as their primary source for information on domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking  and other violence against women issues2) Extensive Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month resources and links3) Comprehensive calendar of trainings nationwide4) Free, personalized legal answers & lawyer search5) Current publications, research, materials, articles and links are added daily
Put the National Center's Website to Work
Bookmark www.ncdsv.org
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