Experts estimate that one in four girls and
one is six boys are sexually abused before
their 18th birthdays. Sixty-seven percent of
all reported sexual assaults happen to
children ages 17 and under. Despite these
alarming statistics, there are steps you as a
parent can take to reduce your children's
risk of being sexually abused.
Know the
Facts
- Sexual abuse is a sexual offense against
a child, such as rape, sodomy, engaging a
child in sexual activity, or engaging a child
in - or promoting a child's - sexual
performance.
- Don't believe the myth that all child
molesters are strangers, mentally disabled,
"dirty old men" or addicted to drugs or
alcohol. The reality is that the greatest
risk comes from
friends and family, not strangers.
Ninety-three percent of victims know their
abusers; 34 percent are abused by family
members; 59 percent are abused by someone
trusted by family.
- Perpetrators often try to earn the trust of
potential victims and their families. This
enables them to more easily gain time alone
with the children. Abusers are drawn to
settings where they can easily gain access to
children: schools, sports leagues, clubs,
etc.
- More than 80 percent of sexual abuse
cases happen in one-adult/one-child
situations. Think carefully before leaving
your child alone with one adult. If
possible, seek out group situations instead.
If you can't avoid leaving your child in
one-adult/one-child situations, drop in
unexpectedly.
- Monitor your children's Internet use.
Perpetrators may use the Internet as a tool to
interact privately with children, with the
ultimate goal of luring children into
physical contact.
Communicate with
your Child
Open, honest communication may be the best
sexual abuse prevention tip. Communication,
early and often, about sex and sexual abuse
may decrease your child's vulnerability to
abuse and increase the chance they will tell
you if they are abused. Here are some tips:
- Always talk to your children about their
daily activities. Show interest in their
feelings. Encourage them to share their
concerns and problems with you.
- Teach your children about their body, what
abuse is, and about sex. Teach them words
that will help them feel comfortable
discussing sex with you.
- Explain that no one has the right to
touch them in a way that makes them
uncomfortable, including adults whom they
know and trust.
- Teach your children that it's your job to
protect them, and that you can protect them
only if they tell you when something is
wrong. Teach your children that adults who
say that are wrong, and that your children
can share anything with you.
- Make sure your children understand that
if someone does make them feel uncomfortable
or confused, you will not blame them.
Reassure your children that sexual abuse is
never the fault of the children.
Understand
Children
Children who have been abused often keep it a
secret. The more you know about why children
keep it a secret and how they communicate
when they do try to tell, the easier it will
be for you to break down barriers to
communication.
- They are afraid of upsetting or
disappointing their parents. They may be too
embarrassed to tell their parents.
- The abuser may threaten to hurt the child
or the child's family.
- Children who do not disclose after the
first encounter may be afraid or ashamed to
tell when it happens again.
- Young children may not understand there
is something to tell. They are taught to
respect and obey adults, and many abusers
tell children the abuse is "OK" or a "game."
- Children may communicate in a roundabout
way by saying something such as, "I don't
like to be alone with Mr. Jones." They may
tell parts of what happened or pretend it
happened to someone else to test an adult's
reaction.
- Children who do disclose abuse may tell
an adult other than a parent.
- If adults respond emotionally or
negatively to a disclosure, children may stop
talking.
Just in Case, Have a Plan
Know where to go and who to call for helping
in case your child is sexually abused. If
you suspect your child has been sexually
abused, immediately call one of the hotlines
listed below and report the abuse to the
authorities such as the local or state police
or sheriff's department.
You can find help for your child and support
for yourself, as well as information about
sexual abuse and treatment programs by
calling the 24-hour Child-At-Risk Hotline at
1-800-792-5200, Prevent Child Abuse
Massachusetts program at 617-742-8555 (or
visit their website at www.MassKids.org) or
the 24-hour Childhelp's National Child Abuse
Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.
Material adapted from Stop It Now!
(www.stopitnow.com) and from Darkness to
Light's 7 Steps to Protecting Our Children
(www.darkness2light.org)
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