I'd like to share a few of my favorite short stories from her book Listen to the Children and two stories from Exchange magazine. I hope you enjoy them and that you spend a little more time each day just "listening."

Warmly,

Mary Beth

"I just helped her cry."

Kim is waiting at home for her son Billy who is playing next door. When he arrives 20 minutes later than scheduled, she asks what happened.

"Well Mom," he begins in a grown-up fashion, "Allison's doll house broke and I wanted to help her."

"I didn't know you knew how to fix dolls," is his mother's somewhat surprised reaction.

"Oh no, Mom. I don't know how. I just stayed to help her cry."

"I'll be your Mommy 'til your Mommy comes"

Diana is new at the center, and she is having a difficult time adjusting. Her mother has been gone about half an hour when suddenly Diana begins to cry. Laurie, a 3-year-old passing by, hears her. She kneels down, puts her arms around her, and says sympathetically, "Don't cry, Diana. I'll be your Mommy 'til your Mommy comes."

"Grown Up"-Docia Shares a Story

In "Dear Diary," New York Times (January 4, 2004), is a story from a woman who collects and wears Mickey Mouse watches.   She is on a train going to New York. At a stop, a five year old and his mother board the train and sit next to her. As the coach was crowded, the boy sat on his mother's lap. The woman wrote, "He noticed my watch and looked up at my face. He repeatedly glanced at the watch, then at me, as though working out a difficult problem. Finally with a very puzzled expression on his small face, he tapped me on the arm and said, 'Excuse me, but are you a grown up?' "

We may never know what her response was, but I wonder if the child would have been even more puzzled if she had said that she wore Mickey Mouse watches because they brought pleasure to the child in her.

No matter what our age, I believe we all carry a bit of the child around with us. I don't know whether that is why we chose the early childhood field as a profession, but I do know that even at 90, I still love participating with young children in activities where learning is fun and enjoyable: bubble blowing; squishing one's feet in gooshy, mooshy mud; building sand castles and building with blocks; collecting shells, stones, pebbles, and odd shapes of wood; playing with clay; singing, dancing, painting; playing Old Maid and Go Fish; watching corks float and stones sink; playing with puzzles. How wonderful to discover, explore, test, imagine, fail, succeed, create as one learns about size, space, weight, texture, shape, sound, color, relationships, caring, sharing, safety, acceptable and unacceptable behavior...to be in environments and with people where tests are only part of the assessment picture because learning is so evident.

Yes growing up is a never ending process and a question like, "Excuse me, but are you a grown up?" may never get a straightforward answer.

Beyond Cute

I was next door visiting my daughter Ann's neighbors and found myself sitting next to three-year-old Ellie. I had been outdoors and my hands were cold. I said "Brrr, Ellie, I should have worn my gloves. My hands feel like ice." Ellie looked at me, then quietly leaned over, took my cold hands in her small warm hands and carefully and gently began to rub them. After a few minutes she stopped and asked, "Warm now?" I replied, "Oh yes, Ellie. Thank you, they feel just right." She gave me a big smile, patted my hands and went back to playing with blocks.

As I thought about this incident later, I marveled at how Ellie, three years old, had captured with complete understanding the role of observer and dispenser of comfort usually played the adult (in my case, a 93-year-old adult). Many times we think children's stories are "cute," "sweet," and "precious" when really a better description would be thoughtful and profound.

When we take the time to listen carefully to children, we often realize that what they are telling us is way beyond cute!

Word choice, word order, and tone of voice are all important facets of how your child takes in what you have to say and how they process the information. Children quickly become adept at reading body language and gain understanding of when the words do not match the tone of voice, body language, and actions of the adults around them.

The most effective communications happen when there is eye contact and when the concern between the individuals is real and evident in the communications. Looking at the child and saying, "I see you are crying, you seem sad, would you like a hug?" seems likes a small thing but this transaction reflects the adult's notice of the child action, helps the child to learn about themselves by naming the action and emotion, and offers a sympathetic, appropriate response to the emotion. Listening to the child's response will guide the rest of the communication. It also helps the child learn the appropriate reaction to take when they see someone crying.

Sometimes when we talk to young children, it seems as if they can't hear us. This is sometimes called selective hearing, and it can be deliberate when a child does not want to comply with a request. Other times it may be that the child is very focused on an activity and is concentrating so hard they do not hear you. When this happens, it can be useful to say their name, and then ask them to look at your face or into your eyes. When you have their attention, you can then give them the message you want them to hear.  

Word order and word choice can be important in getting your point across. If you say "Don't run," it may take the child a moment to hear and understand your message, and what they will process is the last word, "run"...and they will. If you say "(their name), Slow down, please walk." The name is the attention getter, then both parts of the message; tell the child what you WANT them to do. They won't get the mixed message through inattention. Saying the instructions slowly will also allow the child time to process the information you are providing. Similarly, attention to word choice can help prevent or resolve misunderstandings.... Saying "Throw your plate in the garbage" may result in a toss of the plate as the child literally follows your instruction. Adults know that it is a figure of speech, but saying "Put your plate in the garbage" is more likely to get the action you intend.  

Children watch to see if the adult's words match their actions. Be a role model for your child. If an adult says, "Wear your bicycle helmet every time you ride to protect your head," then the adult doesn't wear a helmet when riding a bicycle, the child will notice the disconnect between words and action. The child may interpret it as, "it really isn't that important to wear a helmet" or "an adults head doesn't need to be protected." You can connect your words and actions to reinforce the concept to a child. Explicitly draw the connection between how the car seat protects the child and how the seat belt protects the adult. You can encourage the child to take ownership of his/her actions by making a game of the adult asking the child if they are buckled in and then having the child ask if the adult is buckled in. This creates parallels for the child.

Talking about a child's actions where the child can hear it can create self-fulfilling prophesies, both positive and negative. You can create a positive one by saying positive things about the child when they are listening. For example, when talking to another adult, if you say "(Child's name), always pulls the covers up on his/ her bed," you create an expectation in the child that they will do that action. It can encourage a child who is refusing to eat certain foods to say, "When you get older, you may like it. You should try it again next time." If they agree, the next time the food is served, you could remind them of the discussion.

Taking time to think about the words you say and how you say them can have a lasting impact on your child, with better communication and cooperation now and in the future.

 Rosetta Stone is a pseudonym for Theodore Giesel, better known as Dr. Suess.

Because a Little Bug Went Ka-Choo! is about a little bug sneezing and how such a little sneeze caused so many problems. The tiny sneeze made a seed drop, which then hit a worm on the head. The worm got mad and kicked a tree which caused a coconut to fall and hit a turtle in the head. From then on, the story escalates into larger problems. Near the end of the story the whole town is in total chaos.

This book has a great rhythm that makes it fun to read along with a simple story line that children can understand. The illustrations are amusing. The children in our classroom try to sneeze like the bug and want to read it again and again.

Chorus:
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on puffs gigantic tail,
Noble kings and princes would bow whenever they came,
Pirate ships would lower their flag when puff roared out his name. oh! 

Chorus

A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie paper came no more
And puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his life-long friend, puff could not be brave,
So puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave. oh!

Chorus

We will once again be holding our Spring plant sale! 

Order forms will be distributed in April and the plant sale delivery date is May 19th. We will let you know about volunteer opportunities on this date.

We hope that you will consider purchasing vegetables, flowers and hanging baskets.  Last years sale was a success and we hope to increase our sales this year.