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Gathering the Honey
Inspiration and Healing for People Who Love an Addict
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Are You Giving Your Power Away?
At first, many of the people I talk to don't believe me when I tell them that they can learn to experience peace and joy no matter what is going on with their addict. They are no longer able to see past the darkness of addiction in their lives. Do you fall into that category?
The wake up call to everyone with ears to hear and eyes to see is that no one has the power to make us feel bad unless we give it to them. If you have given your power away, you can take it back at any time.
While I know first hand how difficult and stressful life with an addict can be, I also know that I made it much worse by indulging my obsessive thoughts about the situation. I took my partner's addiction way too personally and let it hurt me over and over again. I came to see that I had a choice. I could focus on something that made me feel good instead. That mental shift gave me the distance I needed to see that my beloved was just doing what addicts do; he wasn't doing it to me.
Start by becoming more aware. What percentage of your time do you spend obsessing about what your addict is doing? How often are you overcome with fear and anxiety? What could you do with that time and energy if you had it back to use for your own good? Keep a journal about this for a week and see what you learn.
I know that these habits of thought are often very ingrained and it can feel as though you have no choice. But you do. You can think about anything you want. Consider this: Has worrying about your addict ever helped the situation? What's the worst that could happen if you stopped worrying and started living again? What is the best that could happen?
Be Your Best,
Sharon
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