On this beautiful planet we inhabit, the ranges of feelings we encounter are vast.  They can go from tremendously blissful ones to immensely painful ones.  That is the nature of living in the material world...we will experience it all.  Some of us will experience more bliss, while others will encounter more pain.  Why?  Well, that's for a different newsletter, book, retreat, etc.

Without a doubt, we all will experience feelings and emotions that fall in the range between bliss and pain.  However, suffering is an option.  But before I talk about the option to suffer, I want to explain the difference between suffering and pain.

Pain is a feeling that comes from an action or a reaction of some kind.  A child falls down and cuts his knee; there is pain.  A young person breaks up with her beloved; there is pain.  A parent sees his child unable to overcome an addiction; they experience pain.

The one thing that all these scenarios have in common is that those experiencing the pain didn't have a choice in the matter.

On the other hand, suffering is voluntary.  Let's take the first example above and relate it to suffering.

The child falls down, cuts his knee and cries.  Mommy (or Daddy) cleans out the cut, kisses the boo-boo, puts on ointment and slaps a bandage on the wound, all the while reassuring the child that they are alright and Mommy will take care of everything.  Usually, the child will just go on playing as if nothing happened.  They have had their physical, emotional and yes, even spiritual, needs met by Mommy.

Now those of us blessed with children and the wonderful experiences that come along with them, have encountered the following.  Sometimes after playing for a while, the child will return to Mommy or Daddy's presence, look down at their bandaged cut and start to cry.  Why?  Because they have gone back to that place of pain and are reliving it.  This is suffering.  Even though the incident is over, when the child is reminded of the pain he once suffered, he goes back to that place of pain and, not only remembers, but feels that pain once more.

That is the difference: pain is caused by an action, and suffering is something we volunteer for.  You can illustrate the difference between pain and suffering in the other examples, as well.

For example, days, weeks and, sometimes, months later, the young person sees her ex and they both start to cry.  They are reminded of the pain of the breakup and relive it.

As adults with 10...20...30...even 40 plus years of doing something, we become hardwired to it, and we can't even see that we are causing the suffering in our own lives.  Yes, there is pain, and there will likely always be pain to some degree or another, but what you do with that pain is up to you.  You can choose whether to allow that pain to deteriorate into suffering.

I encourage you to visit the Ah-Man Blog all this month, as I focus on how different religions approach suffering as an option.