1. First, go into the discussion with the mind set of making it a "win/win", instead of trying to convince your partner to give in to what you want.  Remember, you're a team.  Thus, when one person loses, the whole team loses.
2. Be clear and state what you want.
3. Focus your request on behavior changes.
4. Try not to immediately say "No".  Instead, make a counter offer.
5. Be willing and open to compromise.  This means both of you must be willing to surrender something you want.
6. Continue until you reach an agreement that you both feel comfortable with.
7. Honor the agreement.

Here are examples: 

Not using negotiation:

Wife:  "FINE!  You ALWAYS want to spend more time with them anyway!"

If you find you need help with these skills, please feel free to contact us to schedule an appointment.  We hope this helps!  
 

We are Board Certified Clinical Sexologists and relationship experts that help couples discover more passion and connection in their relationships.  We coach couples together (co-coaching) which offers a unique and balanced male/female perspective and approach to helping our clients with a variety of relationship and sexual issues and concerns. As a happily married couple, in addition to our advanced education and training in relationship and sexuality issues, our knowledge of relationships also comes from true, real-life experience.  Due to our last name and the work we do, we have become known as The Love Birds (TM).  

Charles (Chuck) C. Bird, Ph.D., RN, Dip.ABS is a Registered Nurse, Board Certified Clinical Sexologist and relationship expert providing coaching services with his wife in the Tampa Bay area. Dr. Bird earned his Doctorate from The American Academy of Clinical Sexologists, Masters degree from Maimonides University, Registered Nurse degree from St. Pete College and his Bachelors degree in Psychology from the University of Central Florida. His coach training is from The Institute for Life Coach Training. Dr. Bird is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).

Jo-Ann H. Bird, Ph.D., LMHC, NCC, Dip.ABS is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor, Board Certified Clinical Sexologist, Certified Sex Therapist and relationship expert providing coaching services with her husband in the Tampa Bay area.  She received her Doctorate from The American Academy of Clinical Sexologists at Maimonides University, Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling from Nova Southeastern University and a Bachelors degree in Psychology from the University of South Florida. Dr. Bird's coach training is from The Institute for Life Coach Training. She is a Diplomate and Supervisor of the American Board of Sexology and a Qualified Supervisor with the State of Florida. Dr. Bird is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).

** We are also proud members of The Greater Brandon Chamber of Commerce.