Six weeks ago Marian learned that she has abdominal cancer. She had suspected it for several months and wanted time to be with it quietly before she had a firm diagnosis and before there was a need to talk about it with others. At 82, having battled previous cancers with chemotherapy, she has decided not to fight it through medical procedures but to live as fully as possible in the time she has.
 
With any serious illness there are important decisions to make. Each of us makes them in our own way, based on our unique situations and beliefs. There are as many right ways  to approach illness- and to live- as there are people making the choices.
 
Marian is taking this on with great awareness and strength of heart and soul and mind and is grateful that she can live with intentionality.
 
She is keeping a journal most mornings, realizing that the journaling will help her sort out her feelings and also realizing she is smack dab in the midst of a rich and valuable process- one more cycle in the full cycle that has been her life.
 
She is embracing what is. She speaks movingly of the enormous freedom that she feels in surrendering into and accepting what is and how much energy is freed up when she lets go of the struggle of thinking about how things "should" be. 
 
She is getting clear on what she wants and she is asking for it.
 
She is remembering to access her wholeness as a major ally in dealing with this enormous challenge.
 
Recently a friend told her, "You don't seem sick at all. You seem perfectly healthy!"  Marian replied, "Well, part of me is sick but the biggest part of me is completely well and healthy and whole and always will be!" Having been a meditator for many years, she is able, even in the face of this frightening illness, to quickly come into that deep, familiar place of peace, comfort and well-being where she steeps in a knowing of her true wholeness.
 
This connection with the wholeness within is at the heart of all spiritual traditions and is, I believe, the very essence of healing. In fact the word healing is derived from the word wholeness.
 
This wholeness is within each of us no matter what happens to our health and external circumstances.  It is there to tap into in times of need.

Through this wholeness we access our meta-ordinary resources of wisdom, creativity, guidance, strength and love.
 
Through this wholeness we access resources beyond ourselves, through our natural connection with a Greater Source of Being, by whatever name we call it.  

When I connect to this place of wholeness I experience a deep body-felt sense of comfort, ease and well-being. In this place I can breathe and receive and love more fully; I can let go of figuring out and striving; there is a knowing that all is well and that I am part of a bigger mystery that I can feel but not completely define.
 
And yet sometimes I forget to access this place. Sometimes I struggle and work too hard feeling alone and clumsy. Marian's experience has inspired me to re-commit to this wholeness place. 
 
As invitation to myself and to you, here are some questions to guide us all toward remembering our wholeness:
 
1. What outer places and settings help you connect with your wholeness? Perhaps for you it is your place of worship, a garden or an especially sweet spot in your home. Notice for yourself where can you most easily settle into your sense that "All is Well."  I love the forest; just walking up the path behind my house I am immediately comforted and soothed and reconnected. Later this week, as I settle into the chair at my oral surgeon's office, I will physically be there in the office but, in my imaginal realm, I will be walking in my forest sanctuary!
 
2. What are the inner paths that take you to your inner place of wholeness?
Meditation, imagery, free dance, journaling, yoga, music, art...? Which practices and ways of being lead you home? The more you follow them, the easier, more welcoming and more reliable the paths become.
 
3. Do you regularly practice hanging out in your inner place of wholeness?
Marian is so grateful that she started practicing meditation years ago when, physically and emotionally, her life was easier. Now, she can drop immediately inside to that familiar place beyond pain and struggle, that place where she knows she will always be complete and well. Jon Kabat Zinn, in his wonderful book on mindfulness, Wherever You Go, There You Are, reminds us of the importance of learning to sail when the water is smooth and the wind is light. Then we have fully developed our confidence and skill to keep the boat upright (or to climb back into the capsized boat!) when the stormy weather comes. And, of course, stormy weather of many kinds does come for all of us.
 
4. What can you do to anchor this remembering of your wholeness?
Perhaps it is a gesture, or hand position, a declaration written on the mirror or by your computer monitor or a picture or poem that brings that inner state into your daily routine many times a day.
 
5. How can you find friendliness with your own natural paradox of being? Just as it is important to be able to easily access your inner place of wholeness and perfection, so it is important to soften into your oh-so-human aspects of being messy, petty, confused, emotional and fearful. We are finite and infinite, human and divine, small and enormous, ordinary and extraordinary.
Hurray for it all and many blessings on all our parts!
 
Last weekend Marian laughed and cried and celebrated with beloved family at her grandson's wedding in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. This next weekend she will spend in a favorite lodge near Mt. Shasta and will have time with more grandsons and her sisters and will see her great-granddaughter for the first time.
 
May she inspire us all to live each day remembering the fullness of who we really are.