A Specific Need  Stepping out in faith, Peace in the Home has hired some creative folks who are redesigning our website.    Peaceinthehome.org has served us well for four years, but in order to reach and strengthen more homes, it needs to be more dynamic, flexible and interactive. As Peace in the Home doesn't have all of the financial resources needed to accomplish this goal, we are inviting our friends to help.   Would you pray about giving a one-time or monthly gift for this specific need? Past Articles If you are new to our "Friends of Peace in the Home" list, or missed an update, archived marriage and parenting articles may be found here. Could this be you? Peace in the Home is looking to add a few new directors to its board.  If you have a passion for the family, agree with our core values, and can spare a few hours every calendar quarter, we'd love to hear from you. Join Our List   If this Peace in the Home update was forwarded to you, please join our list to receive family ministry news, event info, and relationship articles.   Movies Download a pdf of our growing list of morally-safe movies for family viewing. Share with a friend Do you know others who might enjoy receiving relationship articles on marriage or parenting?  May 2012 Greetings! Celebrating motherhood, we are re-running a Mother's Day piece, written a few years ago by the most godly woman I know.  I hope you will be blessed by it again, or for the first time. robert  Heart of a Mother    "There's nothing like a mama-hug."                                                       ~Adabella Radici "Mom -- I need you!"  That's a frequent phrase heard around our house, and one that brings joy to my heart ... most of the time.  It's wonderful to be needed, even if it means cleaning up a spill or fixing a broken toy; even better when summoned for a juicy hug! Of course, there is much more our children need than cleaning up their messes or attending to their sweet calls.  Mothers and fathers have been entrusted with the responsibility of raising up a new generation of respectful, responsible and resourceful citizens in a way that honors God. Even though they'll never ask for it, our children need shaping through moral teaching, healthy modelling, age-appropriate correction, while allowed to grow and fail in an emotionally safe home, where parental arms are present and available to hold them.     A mother's arms are made of tenderness, and children sleep soundly in them.                                                           ~Victor Hugo I am a mother of four beautiful children, three of whom I still get to hold.  Being a mother is such a special gift.  Most mom's will agree that when you receive that gift, it comes with frustrations, amazement, exhaustion, and indescribable joy, to name just a few.  I could never have imagined the journey I would take as a mom.  When I was leaving the hospital with my first baby, I begged the nurse to show me 'just one more time" how to swaddle Rachel in those little blankets.  I felt scared and unprepared, but knew in my heart, that motherhood was just what I was made for.  At my first baby shower, a wise friend passed around a journal, for mothers to write something that might help me. The journal, combined with the advice from my own mother, became a real treasure to me.  Yet nothing really prepares us fully for being a mom.  Thankfully, moms have a unique willingness and enthusiasm for getting together to talk about -- well, everything! So, as we are a just few days shy of Mother's Day, we thought we would ask some moms to share some of their sage advice.  So let's hear from the mothers! 1.  What aspect of motherhood gives you the most joy? Isn't it wonderful that we all want to share our joys with others?  One mom said she "feels most joyful when her children feel accepted, safe and loved.  When they are proud of themselves -- not for their accomplishments, but for the person they are in God's eyes, and in her eyes."  One new mother said "just holding her baby -- this reflection of God's love, and watching her grow, brings such joy!"   Another mom said she "loves seeing her daughters 'get it'.  "There are little moments when I see them catching the faith, like reading the bible or playing worship songs on their guitar just for fun!"  Just observing her four children and envisioning the character qualities they will develop gives another mother great joy, remembering that this is just the beginning of development of the gifts God has given them. "Mommy, does that make you feel happy-sad?"                                                         ~ Leah, age 5  As we know, raising children isn't all joy.  Many moms struggle with wanting their kids to be more independent (responsible and resourceful), while continuing to do too much for them.  As children mature, we need to bear the pain of releasing them so that they can learn responsibility.  At our house, whenever one of our kids manages to do something new on their own, Robert and I tell them it makes us feel "happy-sad".  "Happy" because they are growing up and accomplishing new things, but sad because they are growing up.  "Happy-sad" is a unique form of parental joy.  Moms know all about it. 2.  What's the best advice you might share with another mom? For new moms, it's "knowing that life will get easier and you will sleep again soon!"  One mom said to "treasure each stage through journaling or scrap-booking or movies."  It's a wonderful way to document little lives, and a fun activity to sit down and remember life's adventures after they have grown. Comparing her children developmentally to siblings or other kids is a challenge one mom deals with.  Her advice is to avoid this trap.  Each child is unique, and develops at his/her own pace.  Engaging in comparisons only creates anxiety in ourselves and our children.  And, we don't need more anxiety! "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much."    ~ Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis My advice to moms would be to remind them they can't "do it all", and that's okay, because we weren't designed to!  Over the years, we've been programmed to think that we can manage a family, a career and a household without a hitch.  Instead we wind up as exhausted wives, over-stressed moms and part-time employees.  While some of us must out of necessity work outside the home, we need to rightly order our priorities, honoring first our husbands, and then our children, and then our work if we have anything left.  Let's not take our cues from the culture.  If you are a working mom, ensure your priorities are aligned with scripture, and don't be afraid to ask for support when you need it.  We only have these precious children for a short time! 3.  What keeps you sane when things get a little crazy at home? When children are little, mom needs to refresh and revitalize.  Napping children provide a window, but what happens when they declare themselves "too big" for naps?  Many moms shared they still enforce a "quiet time" for their children.  We did this "religiously" in the Partington family until each child was of school age.  Quiet time is a parent-controlled time for kids to be in their rooms, playing quietly or reading.  Mom is then free to rest, read, return phone calls or spend some time in bible study and prayer.  I would encourage all moms to think about quiet time as a gift to yourself each day.  One mom writes "my perspective is better and fresher, and the quiet time teaches my children to be more independent, creative and comfortable by themselves."  And, those are all good things. Some moms shared that arranging for help with driving to activities helps them to get some sanity from the on the go schedule.  If you are willing to reciprocate, ask some other moms if they would share in carpooling to activities. 4.  What do you most treasure about motherhood? One mother, whose children have all grown shared that she really treasures the traditions she created when they were young.  She called it "creating magic".  Recently her daughter told her that she never realized that all of those special events, birthday celebrations, vacations were lovingly planned and didn't just happen. Once we are moms, we will always be moms, but there is a chapter in our lives, where the privilege and responsibility of raising our children is the greatest.  One mom put it this way, "I love the concept that our three children are 'on loan' to my husband and me from God.  He has entrusted us with the special privilege of caring for each of these little ones, and influencing the development of their character, personality and interests." Some days, we moms feel like this chapter will never end, but the wisdom of older moms that these years pass quickly is to be heeded.  One mom wrote: "Recently I was baking and my twelve year old asked to help.  I was delighted to have him help me.  As we were working together I looked up at him (he is already five inches taller than me) and I wondered where in the world did my little baby go?  At that moment it struck me that one day he will be grown up and raising children of his own!  This child who wants to do everything with me will be a man. This ordinary task of baking became so suddenly very special.  I wanted to freeze time and stay that way with him forever."  When you're having an especially tough day, fast forward to their college graduation, and then relish the opportunity you have today! Now, go give those kids a big mama-hug! Happy Mother's Day, Melissa Peace in the Home, Inc. is a family organization whose mission is to strengthen marriages and equip parents.  In addition to writing articles on marriage and parenting, Peace in the Home conducts seminars, workshops and retreats for engaged couples, married couples, and married and single parents.